I don’t care who rules the world

I have said many times that I am a simple man … nothing fancy really. I am not into brands, I am not into cars and I avoid expensive places … I just don’t have any extra money for all these things. You will see me in my khaki shorts, singlet and sandals most of the time … occasionally when I am required to “dress up” a bit … I will put on a pair of old jeans, tee shirt and sneakers. I am most comfortable this way.

I don’t really care how people look at me … I may look like a ‘pasar malam’ (night market) trader, a coffee shop man, a hawker and there were a few times people mistaken me for an odd job worker. 

Let me tell you one funny incident. Several months ago I was fixing the roofing of my house … while taking a rest outside the house, a guy driving a nice SUV pulled beside me and asked me how much I charge to clear a blocked roof gutter. Remembering a joke I once read, I wittily told him … “Errr Mr, for this house I am working on now, I get to sleep with the owner’s wife”. Realizing that he had mistaken me as an odd job worker, he embarrassingly apologized and drove away probably laughing at himself. My amused neighbor who was listening to the conversation told me jokingly … “you lose ‘face’ lah, people “tai lei ng hei” (look down on you). I can’t blame the guy in the SUV … with a straw hat, pair of shorts and a dirty singlet, I do look like an odd job worker. 

Lose ‘face’? I am not bothered at all. To some people, ‘face’ is important … what they own, what they drive or what they wear. But I am not concerned about “face” … I don’t need to show what brands I own, what cars I drive, where I go, what clothes I wear …  I don’t need to show any status, class or prominence … simply because my values are not measured these material units.

 I remember a senior manager (in a large MNC) once told me that her car must at least be a 2-litre (2000 cc) car and worth no less than a hundred fifty thousand bucks. Her very own words … “I am a senior manager … not enough ‘face’ lah if I drive anything smaller or lesser”. She probably have some sort of formula that calculates ‘face’ value by evaluating what position one is in, to match what type of car one must own and how much it should be worth. Well, if that makes her feel good about herself … so be it.

‘Face’ … is it really that important? Maybe for many people, it is … to them ‘face’ is a stage where they show how big they can be, is an arena where they display how much they have achieved and is a platform where they walk as if they ruled the world. 

I don’t need a stage as I have nothing big to show, I don’t need an arena as I have nothing much to flaunt and I don’t need a platform to walk because I am confident of who I am, what I do (or don’t do) and how I look. I can walk anywhere ... because I don’t care who rules the world. 

Who is the bad guy?

I am currently watching the very popular Chinese historical fiction series “San Kuo” or “Three Kingdoms” (also known as Romance of The Three Kingdoms) which I downloaded recently … I watched it once back in 2010 (in Mandarin) and now I got the Cantonese version, so I am watching all 95 episodes again. I have read the book many times since I was a teenager and I am still very much captivated by the famous characters in the story such as Liu Bei, Cao Cao, Tung Cho, Lu Pu, Zhuge Liang, Sun Quan, Sima Yi, Zhou Yu, Guan Yu, Zhang Fei, Zhao Zhe Lung and a long list of other interesting characters. I am also fascinated by the loyalty, devotion, fidelity, faithfulness as well as the betrayal, deception, ruses, schemes and the treacheries displayed by the various characters in the many struggles, disputes, clashes, conflicts, battles, and wars that formed the background of the whole story.

My son, a bit too young to understand the complicated conflicts between the many characters of the story asked me … “who is the bad guy?” … a simple question but I did not answer the question … told him to find out for himself.

So, who is the bad guy? It seems like Cao Cao is the villain and Zhuge Liang is the hero or maybe in another instance Cao Cao maybe the hero and Sima Yi is the villain … they are all as cunning and ruthless as they can be trying to outwit each other.  They all can be villains and they all can be heroes.

I am not trying to take you through a fictitious historical journey ... you will see my point soon. And, let’s not worry who is the bad guy for now … maybe you can tell me later.

OK, let’s move on … now, whether it is ancient people thousands of years ago or the people around us today … we are all the same. Like the characters in the “Three Kingdoms” story, some of us are like Cao Cao … ambitious, bold, ruthless and determined and others are like Liu Pei … trustworthy, devoted, faithful and committed. Then there are those who are like Zhuge Liang … genius, wise, cunning and wily while the rest are clever, scheming, crafty and shrewd like Sima Yi. 

Today, though we are not in battles and wars but we faced all sorts of conflicts and disputes … at home, in the family, in the office, in business and in relationship. In every conflict or dispute, there are those who will take advantage of you, those who are ready to betray you, those who are loyal to you, those who will help and those who simply don’t care at all. Each and every one have their own ambitions, own point of views and own ways of seeing and doing things … on one hand everyone can be associating, working or living together …  on the other, everyone may be trying to outwit, outdo and outsmart each other.  You may not like what they do and they may not see it the way you want. 

I would like to say this … if you are betrayed and taken advantage of, you only have yourself to blame for letting it happened. Don’t condemn the actions of those who betrayed and took advantage of you … why? Let's be frank, if the situation was the other way round, I am sure you would have done exactly what they did with no guilt. Who is right, who is wrong, who is the good hero and who is the bad villain? My point is … it all depends from whose side one is looking at it.

Watching the epic “Three Kingdom” drama series, I appraised the many characters with an open mind. In the many disputes and conflicts, the plots and ruses in the story, while many will stereotyped Cao Cao as the villain and Zhuge Liang as the hero … I beg to differ. The way I look at it … the way I see it from Cao Cao’s point of view and the way I understand his approach … I see Cao Cao as a great hero. Maybe the same goes for Zhuge Liang or other characters of the story … if you see from their point of views and understand their approaches … they are all heroes. Then who is the bad guy?

How do you want to die?

This is going disrupt the comfort zone of many people … to discuss the subject of death is not something people are willingly opened to talk about. But let’s face it … it will come and if it is a taboo or prohibited subject for you, for whatever reasons … please read with an open mind.

I tell you what I think about it and it is strictly my opinion. You may not like what I am talking about … then please don’t get too attached … as I said earlier, approach it with an open mind and if you have something to say, please feel free to comment.

OK, whatever it is, everyone will die … but some are so afraid of dying and some just refused to go. We all hear many stories of such people … someone told me a very rich banker is so afraid of dying that he refused to go home … instead he stays full time at a private hospital. Another story has it that a very rich politician, stricken with terminal disease spent most his money trying to save him but to no avail. He suffered many months on his death bed, refused to breathe his last breath … he only stopped breathing when his family let him hold a pillow case stuffed with his cash. 

My question is … if you are told that you are terminally ill, what will you do? Of course, the sensible decision will be to try to live as long as you can with the best treatment that you can get, right?

But let me share this with you … not so long ago, for a few days a week, I took my mom to physiotherapy sessions at a well known private hospital. While my mom does her physio exercises, I waited at the foyer just next to the cancer treatment facility of the hospital. So you guessed it … I have seen a lot of cancer patients going in and out of the facility … patients who underwent chemotherapy, radiation, surgical treatments … all sorts and types. Let me tell you this, it was so disheartening to see the conditions of many such patients. A few times, I came close enough to the patients to see the tremendous pain they suffered, the agony of what they went through and the burden created for their loved ones. 

These patients who received “cutting edge” treatment were wheeled out pierced with various tubes, hooked to odd-looking blinking machines with wires attached to their bodies, bandaged and administered with high doses of drugs (that probably cost thousands of dollars). Yes I know … the good doctors were providing the very best to treat these patients and making it as comfortable as possible for them. Really, I am not being sarcastic here … seeing the condition they were in, I would like to ask if the treatments were making them better or making them suffer.  The way I (jokingly) look at it, the poor patients were inflicted with such suffering that you won't even give to a hardcore criminal.

So, if it is me … if I am told that I will be dying, I definitely will not want to be treated that way. I don’t want to go through the pain and agony of the treatment that will also cause distress to my loved ones. I know exactly what is going to happen and my choices are clear … I will not want to prolong my life, so my question will be … how do I want to die. Let me say it loud and clear … I want to die painlessly, just help me manage the pain and if it gets worse, let me be sedated. I don’t want to suffer and I definitely don’t want my loved ones to go through the agony of seeing me suffer.

Yeah, you may say that I am just talking for the sake of it … when it really happens, it maybe a different story then. No, really, I meant what I have said … it is even stated clearly in my ’living will” that should I am terminally ill and unable to make any decisions … do not make any attempt to prolong my life, do not put me on a life support system … just let me go. You see, I do not want my loved ones to be caught in a scenario where they are scared, confused with medical options and unknowingly consent to do “everything possible" (to prolong my life) which will create a nightmare that will burden them physically, mentally and financially.

The common thought is … “It will not happen to me … I will grow old gracefully, die gently and naturally” but statistically, most of us will die due to illness and most of us will know that we are going to die. So when the time comes, can you accept that you are dying? Are you willing to go? Have you done enough, lived a full life? Or you think it is unfair that you have worked so hard and yet to enjoy fully what you have gathered. 

So, do you ask how do you want to prolong your life or do you ask how do you want to die? Tell you what (and it is strictly my opinion) … I think it is a lot easier (for everyone) to ask how do you want to die.

Do you do what you like and like what you do?

I am a simple man, live a simple life and do simple things. I do what I like and like what I do.  I was painting my house recently and a neighbour saw me sweating under the sun asked me why I don’t just pay someone to do the painting. My point is simple … to hire a contractor to paint the house, I need a few thousand bucks. And to earn the few thousand bucks, I have to put on an artificial smiling face to please a lot of people (whom I may not even like), join the rat race and chase for the money … now, that is not what I like to do. So, I rather stick to the simple painting job, even though it is physically tiring, it is what I like to do … and I like the good feeling of accomplishment when it is done. 

So, at times it may not be all that rosy and cozy but it is something I like to do.

When I was working as a corporate manager, I went for business meetings, attended corporate events and activities in exotic places all over the world … flew business class and stayed in luxurious 5-star hotels. I was invited to classy social events, posh launches and exclusive shows and treated to gourmet dinners. My friends thought I have a good job and enjoyed it very much. Good job? Well, I put it this way … I am good at my job but that doesn’t mean I enjoy doing it. I DID NOT … really, I am serious … I thought I did but I did not. I was so engrossed and obsessed with all the good and glamour, I didn’t realise that I was doing things I hate … to please people that I don’t even like.

 Now I travel on cheap budget airlines, visiting third world countries, staying at bed & breakfast houses, walking along busy streets and eating hawker’s food by the roadside … though not a bit glamour but I enjoyed it … I like it this way.

Be it cooking a simple meal, walking the dogs, cycling with my wife and kids or "blowing water” (chit chatting) with my good friends over a few glasses of cheap beers … now I am glad most of the time I am able to do what I like and like what I do.

Do you do what you like and like what you do?  Or are you so engrossed in the chase for all the good and glamour, you don’t realise that most of the time you actually do what you don’t like and like what you don’t do

A baker, a tailor, a cook and a mechanic … are they any less respected?

I am sure all parents out there are always looking out for the most suitable (if not the best) education program for their kids … and as the kids grow, the cost of education increases … a lot. I want to ask … how much do you need for your kid’s higher education? Let’s not talk about those whose kids are offered scholarships and subsidies … let’s talk about the vast majority of those who have to dig into their own pockets.

Someone told me just recently that I have to set aside half a million dollars for each of my kid’s higher education. According to the person, by the time my kids go to college or university … for a 5-year degree program, the cost will be around one hundred thousand dollars a year … taking in consideration the course fees, books, food, accommodation, transport and other costs … and that is just to study at a local affiliated college or university. And if I want to send my kids for a short stint overseas … it will probably cost a hundred thousand more. That person said to me … “This is a must for a good tertiary education to open doors for better careers for your kids in the future”.

 WHAT??? If that is the case, my kids are doomed … why? I just don’t have a million dollars for both of them … so, without that kind of money for a good higher education, are they going to end up in the lower end of the society? If that is the case, so will a lot of other kids whose parents too cannot afford to fork out half a million dollars for a degree. Seriously, I want to ask … how many parents out there have this kind of money?

No, you don’t have to spend half a million for each of your kid’s tertiary education … doesn’t mean you don’t get a good tertiary education if you don’t have so much money. I agree that the cost of education is high but there are many choices … depending on what you can afford based on what you think your kids can achieve. There are many good education institutions out there offering good programs that cost a lot less … only that these institutions are not those so called “well known” education organizations. But make no mistakes … though these institutions are not the “big names”, they by no means offered any less in terms of professionalism and quality of the programs they provided.

Many parents, due to financial constraints or other reasons simply cannot allow higher academic education for their children … so, the next best thing is vocational training courses. There is nothing wrong with that … and the cost is definitely very much affordable. This doesn’t mean that their kids are going to grow up a lesser person.

Now, if you have the money, get the best for your kids … send them to the best international colleges or universities in UK. Canada, Australia or USA (I would if I have the money). Definitely it will give them a much better exposure and strong platform to obtain their tertiary education. Really, I am happy for your kids … they are so lucky to have parents like you.

YES, I agree that studying professional fields like medicine, dentistry or law (and maybe some that I have not heard of yet) will cost an arm and a leg. YES, many want their children to be doctors, lawyers, psychiatrists and the likes. But what about those who simply don’t have the big money to spend on their children’s higher education … their children probably end up being a baker, a tailor, a cook or a mechanic … so, are they going to be any less respected? I DON’T THINK SO!

Your beliefs don’t make you a better person …

What do you believe and what are your beliefs based on? People have their own reasoning for their beliefs ... many based on common logic, others applied their very own logic and some just don’t need any logic at all … they just believe.

I hear people say that life is fated … they believed everything in life is fixed. Sorry, I am not convinced … I don’t believe in fate at all. Why? I put it this way … in the ancient days when farmers planted their crops, whether it was going to be a good harvest or a bad disaster … they believe it was fated. Of course with today’s scientific information of the weather, knowledge of land cultivation and the understanding of pest control, we all know that farming have absolutely nothing to do with fate. But if people now don’t believe that fate will affect the crops … why do these same people believed that fate will affect their lives? Now, where is the logic?

Anyway, I am not here to tell you that you must accept what I said. If you believe your life is fated, I am sure you have your own logic in doing so. For me, believing in fate is as good as believing the email I received from the Interior Minister of Botswana who is going wire twelve million sterling pounds into my account as soon as I give him my banking details.

People ask me if I believe in god. I don’t … I cannot accept the logic of creationism. Then they say “But you believe in aliens”. YES, I believe in aliens and I am a big fan of ‘Ancient Aliens’ … I share the same thoughts as those in this TV series who believed that aliens visited us in the past. I know many will say it is absolutely crazy to think that aliens existed. My logic may not apply to them … they may not believe in aliens for the same reasons that I don’t believe in god … there is nothing wrong with that. Let's move on.

Then I want to ask ... will you burn your money? WHAT??? YES, I am asking if you will literally burn (light it up with fire) your money. You think I am crazy, right? Any sound person will not burn their hard earned cash … it is not right. But then to some people, if they use their hard earned money to buy fake money and then burn it … it is absolutely OK! What do I mean? Look at what people do during ‘Qing Ming’ (the Tomb Sweeping Day observed by the Chinese), you see them doing exactly what I just said … use their hard earned money to buy tons of fake money (the ‘hell notes’ as they call it) and burn it believing that their dead loved ones will receive the burnt hell notes in the netherworld and live a luxurious afterlife. Make sense? Sorry, to me it makes no sense. 

OK, we can argue until the cow comes home on what make sense and what don’t … really it is not about what you believe in or what I don’t … please don’t be bothered if I don’t share your beliefs and logic. I am not at all bothered if you choose to believe that there is an invisible being up there who created and controls everything in the universe. You do your thing, I do mine ... life goes on.

But let me say this … whatever your logic is, one cannot say yours is right and whatever your beliefs are, one cannot say yours are better.  But the problem is … there are people who simply cannot accept that others don’t share their beliefs and very often they insist that they are right and they are better. Please understand this … your beliefs don’t make you right, your beliefs don’t make you a better person … your behavior does.

“You want cheaper? No problem ...”

 I hear people complaining that things are getting so expensive nowadays … “Everything is so EXPENSIVE !”… they complained. Even coffee and tea are expensive now … and they say it is because of inflation.

OK, let’s do a bit of ‘kopi’ (coffee) economics … what is inflation? Recalling what I learned when I studied part time economics (many years ago) … inflation is “the cost measured against the value over a period of time” … correct? Any economics PhDs out there can clarify this? So if the cost of a cup of coffee and the actual value of the coffee both increase proportionately over time … you don’t call this inflation … it is just simple growth. But of course, those who complained will argue that the cost the coffee has increased exponentially compared to the value of the coffee (has it confuse you yet? If you are not confused, you are not paying attention … that’s economics). So they say it is inflation.

Inflation? Not  really … look, the cost of coffee has increased but the cost here doesn’t mean just the actual cost of the coffee alone … it includes other costs … like packaging, comfort, convenience, branding and other intangibles that were built in. So you are not paying more because of inflation … you are paying more than just the coffee. Those people who complained that coffee is expensive … well, stop drinking at Starbucks … go to the local “kopitiam” where a cup of coffee cost only RM1.80 … yes, even this cost has increased from several years ago … naturally, as the economy grows.

Then people say petrol is expensive … I agree … 100%. As a matter of fact, when my wife suggested that we go ‘somewhere expensive’ to celebrate her birthday … I was tempted to take her to the petrol station … IT IS an expensive place, don’t you think? So, petrol is expensive … simply because this natural resource is diminishing. Then how? Drive a smaller capacity car … that’s it. But hey, the irony is, those who are yelping that the petrol is expensive are actually those who drive the high end guzzlers … these monsters don’t just burn petrol … they practically gulp down liters by the seconds. If you want to buy an expensive, high capacity, top performance, ‘I look damn good in it’ car … don’t come tell me petrol is expensive.

I can accept the ice cream man running around in his three-wheeler earning a meagre income complain that the petrol is expensive … but not those who drive a monster 4WD with engine the size of my writing table.

Not so long ago, I was invited to a party at a huge modern 4-storey bungalow with state-of-the-art security system linked to some sort of electronic control gadgets and what not. I know the owner via a business acquaintance of mine and somehow I was invited along. When talking about the house, the owner told me that his house needs 22 air-conditioning systems to keep it cool and comfortable … almost all running 24 hours a day. WOW! That’s COOL … literally. The owner then said to me … “The electricity is so EXPENSIVE !!!  You know, it cost me RM16,000 a month”. I looked at him, kept quiet … but really, inside me was like ‘TIU NIA SING’ (for those who don’t know …. it means ‘WHAT THE F**K’) … a guy who owns a huge bungalow that cost a few millions bucks with 22 air-conditioning systems (not to mention other electric and electronic systems and gadgets) in the house complained that the electricity is expensive? What did he expect … a couple hundred of dollars???  I cannot understand these people … can afford to buy a cow but cannot afford the string?

YES, price of things are increasing but then at the end of the day it boils down to what do you want? You want the basic necessity or you want a bit of comfort or do you want luxury? Just pay accordingly. I once heard my regular mechanic (he is one cocky fellow) said to one of his customers who complained that the service charge of his BMW was expensive … the mechanic told the BMW owner … “You want cheaper, no problem … next time, bring a Proton!”

You think I am rich?

>
You think I am rich? Many people think so … they said to me “Wah! Shiek, you send your kids to private international school, you must have a lot of money stashed up”. Halo, let me clarify … I did not send my kids to a private international school (please note I highlighted ‘international school’ in bold) … I cannot afford a full scale private international school with huge football fields, big nice air-conditioned activity halls, international standard sports arena, Olympic size swimming pool and state-of–the-art computer facilities that spread over several acres of land where students wear expensive uniforms and have their breaks in alfresco styled cafeteria. Nope … I definitely cannot afford that.

I send my son (and my daughter too when she goes to secondary education) to a private education centre operated from a row of shops with a decent library, a nice eatery, small classrooms and an up-to-date computer room. And no need for fancy uniforms … smart and casual will do. That, is within my ability … that much I can do for my kid’s education. The important thing is, my kids get to study the same syllabus, sit for the same exams and exposed to the same learning skills as those who are enrolled in private international schools. Don’t get me wrong, I am not against private international schools … their facilities are definitely better. If you can afford to write a bigger cheque, go for it. I wish I could. And for that matter, I am also not saying that our national type schools are not good … just different learning exposure.

 The irony is, the same people who commented that I send my kids for private education actually earn a lot more than I do … but they say they cannot afford a different (if not better) education platform for their children … I wonder why? They have better houses (most have more than one house), they drive big cars (and change their cars every other year) and they definitely have higher incomes. They can afford twice yearly overseas holidays for the whole family, they don’t mind losing thousands of dollars (in depreciation) when they change their cars, they own luxury brands but somehow they tell me they can’t afford private education for their kids. They say I am rich and they are not … hmmm, strange.

So you think I am rich? Don’t think … I tell you now. I have a house, I have a car, I have savings, I have an income … really I have a lot. It doesn’t matter if it is a small house, it doesn’t matter if it is a cheap car, it doesn’t matter how much I saved, it doesn’t matter how much I earned … I have a lot more than many people in this world. YES, I can say I am rich, simply because I don’t measure myself in material value. I am rich simply because I don’t spend unnecessarily. I am rich, simply because I don’t spend more than I earn. And let me tell you what my late father (even though he died penniless) once told me … he said “I am rich because I don’t not owe anyone, anything”.