March 19, 2013

You don’t have to tolerate me

I have a few bad habits … I call them my weaknesses. I think we all have weaknesses … just that some people don’t want to admit it. Let me tell you what my weaknesses are ... first, I am a very direct person, I don’t mince my words … so, don’t expect anything sugar coated from me. Believe me, I can be very blunt.

Second, I don’t like to keep secrets … especially other people’s secrets … so, please don’t tell me things you don’t want others to know.
And third … I am a live wire. Like my ex-boss used to say … the “windy” type … a pun derived from the slang … “hainanese wind” (meaning bad temper). YES, I can be quite “windy” at times. Well, I thought after life slapped fifty one years on me, I would have mellowed down but not really ... somehow the “hainanese wind” is still blowing as strong as ever. 

You see … I am not your “Likeable Mr Able” or your “Steady Mr Goody” type of person … so, you don’t have to like me and you don’t have to tolerate me. You are not the only one … many people avoid me … really, I am not joking. Why? Because they can’t tolerate my weaknesses.

Now, let me say this … I also see a lot of weaknesses (or bad habits) in many people I know … all sorts and types … some are as bad tempered as me, others have quite unpleasant habits and there are few unusual ones too. And most of these people are within my inner circle of acquaintances. I will not tell you what their weaknesses are but I can tell you this … I tolerate their weaknesses … or find ways to get around their weaknesses. Why do I want to do that? Well, simply because I see they have strength too … they have many other good qualities as a friend, a companion, a mate, a partner, an associate or an acquaintance. I can tap on their strength ... so, if I tap on their strength, it is only fair that I tolerate their weaknesses too.

We all can recognize other people’s disabilities but we must also emphasize their possibilities to realize the true understanding of a good relationship.

Look, if you can only see the weaknesses and you don’t find any strength in me … then you don’t have tolerate me … it will better for both of us to stay away from each other.

Or ... if you only want to tap on my strength but you don’t want to tolerate my weaknesses … well, the same applies … it is better that we stay away from each other.

BUT … if you see that I have other good qualities as a friend, a companion, a mate, a partner, an associates or an acquaintance … maybe you can tap on my strength but please also tolerate my weaknesses … or find ways to get around my weaknesses. Then, I am sure we can have a meaningful relationship.

March 06, 2013

What I don’t believe

In a few of my articles, I touched a bit on various beliefs that people embraced. Then someone wrote to me and asked me what I don’t believe in and why. Not sure why this person wants to know … well, I have a very long list of what I don’t believe in … too long to write here.

Anyway, I will tell you a few of what I don't believe in ... some common and some quite strange.

I DON’T BELIEVE in the dead (I mentioned this before but let me say it again here) ... what do I mean??? Let me put it this way … I don’t believe in doing things for the dead. I don’t think that by doing something for the dead, it will brings benefit to those living … like, making ridiculous offerings to your dead parents hoping for returns of wealth for the living, engaging in geomancy (feng shui) to build an exaggerated grave believing that it will bring good fortune to future generations and praying to the dead to demonstrate filial piety and respect.

I believe we should provide for our living parents … not offering (burning) fake money to them when they are dead, give them a good home … not a beautiful grave and talk to them when they are alive … not pray to them when they are dead.

I DON’T BELIEVE in fate … I cannot accept the idea that the whole course of my life has already been mapped out … that whatever is to happen and whatever already happened are fated to happen.

I believe in making decisions which affects my life directly … whatever happened and whatever is to happen is because of my doings. To me, fate is an excuse for those who don’t want to make decision.

I DON’T BELIEVE in luck … there is no such thing as luck. When I got my first job many years ago, someone told me I was lucky. Lucky? NO … it was not luck that got me the job … I was prepared and I when I saw the opportunity, I went for it.

I believe in this equation : LUCK = PREPARATION + OPPORTUNITY.

I DON’T BELIEVE in superstition … I don’t mind black cats or wild crows and I don’t think that if 3 people are photographed, the middle one will die first. Then someone asked me why I want to change place, make odd gestures and mumble-jumbled whenever I am on a losing streak in a mahjong game? Is that not superstition? It may look superstitious but really, it is just to create a distraction to take the mind away from distress and frustration … an opportunity to take a break, get up, get a fresh look at the game and re-strategize … nothing superstitious at all.

I believe superstitions are stemmed from some primitive belief systems and coincidences to explain the unexplainable.

I DON’T BELIEVE that humans are from this planet … maybe other living things on this planet evolved to what there are today but not human. If humans are a result of natural evolution, why do we have to wear cloths to shield us from cold? Why don’t we have thick furs like those animals that evolved and adapt to living in the cold regions?

I believe our ancestors are from somewhere out of this world … we were either brought to this planet or we were genetically interbred. Oh REALLY??? OK, I am not going to tell you the strange alien stories and the theory how modern human came about but if you understand what scientists termed as the “missing link” in evolution, then you will know what I am talking about.

I know many will not agree with me … they may have totally different views, their very own valid reasons and logic to believe what I don’t believe in. Maybe to them, my logic and reasons may seem a bit strange.

Are my logic and reasons really that strange? OK, so be it ... well, then let me give you another of my strange logic … I believe in counting backwards. Huh??? Well not for everything … just in doing certain things. For example when I am climbing up stairs and knowing how many steps to get to the top, I will count backwards step by step as I climb. WHY??? I believe it is faster … it seems faster. Is it really faster? I don’t know but somehow it really gives me the feeling that I am getting to the top a lot faster. Now, I know you want to ask … what logic is that?

Strange isn’t it?