March 19, 2013

You don’t have to tolerate me

I have a few bad habits … I call them my weaknesses. I think we all have weaknesses … just that some people don’t want to admit it. Let me tell you what my weaknesses are ... first, I am a very direct person, I don’t mince my words … so, don’t expect anything sugar coated from me. Believe me, I can be very blunt.

Second, I don’t like to keep secrets … especially other people’s secrets … so, please don’t tell me things you don’t want others to know.
And third … I am a live wire. Like my ex-boss used to say … the “windy” type … a pun derived from the slang … “hainanese wind” (meaning bad temper). YES, I can be quite “windy” at times. Well, I thought after life slapped fifty one years on me, I would have mellowed down but not really ... somehow the “hainanese wind” is still blowing as strong as ever. 

You see … I am not your “Likeable Mr Able” or your “Steady Mr Goody” type of person … so, you don’t have to like me and you don’t have to tolerate me. You are not the only one … many people avoid me … really, I am not joking. Why? Because they can’t tolerate my weaknesses.

Now, let me say this … I also see a lot of weaknesses (or bad habits) in many people I know … all sorts and types … some are as bad tempered as me, others have quite unpleasant habits and there are few unusual ones too. And most of these people are within my inner circle of acquaintances. I will not tell you what their weaknesses are but I can tell you this … I tolerate their weaknesses … or find ways to get around their weaknesses. Why do I want to do that? Well, simply because I see they have strength too … they have many other good qualities as a friend, a companion, a mate, a partner, an associate or an acquaintance. I can tap on their strength ... so, if I tap on their strength, it is only fair that I tolerate their weaknesses too.

We all can recognize other people’s disabilities but we must also emphasize their possibilities to realize the true understanding of a good relationship.

Look, if you can only see the weaknesses and you don’t find any strength in me … then you don’t have tolerate me … it will better for both of us to stay away from each other.

Or ... if you only want to tap on my strength but you don’t want to tolerate my weaknesses … well, the same applies … it is better that we stay away from each other.

BUT … if you see that I have other good qualities as a friend, a companion, a mate, a partner, an associates or an acquaintance … maybe you can tap on my strength but please also tolerate my weaknesses … or find ways to get around my weaknesses. Then, I am sure we can have a meaningful relationship.