December 19, 2012


(Many may not like what is written in this article especially those whose faith and belief encourages praying … so, please read at your own discretion and approach with an open mind)

While talking to a family friend, she asked me did I go pray to my late father (at the temple where his ashes are kept) on the recent anniversary of his passing … my father passed away 4 years ago last month.  I said … “No, I did not”. She was surprised by my reply and she then asked … “Do you remember the date he passed away?” I said … “YES, of course”.

“Then why you didn’t go pray to your father?” … she asked again. And before I could reply, she teasingly said to me in Cantonese … “Lei tou ng how soon yau ng chuin chung lei low tou” … loosely translated, it means that I don’t have a sense of filial piety and respect for my father. Then she went on to say I should have at least go pray to my father on the anniversary of his passing.

I did not say anything then but let me say this now … I DISAGREE.

I totally disagree with the opinion that to show I am a good filial son and to show respect to my father, I will have to go pray to him on the anniversary of his passing … as well as on other traditionally observed days and events too.

I don’t believe that praying to my father will show anything … he is dead. What can I show him? What can I tell him? Maybe you will say I have no respect for him … oh no, I respect my dad, I just don’t think that respect is to be shown by praying in front of his ashes at a temple.

If it was solely my decision, I would have had my father’s ashes washed away by the waves of the ocean. … I don’t need any ashes to remember or respect anyone. OK, I did not go pray to my father … so, I am a bad unfilial son? So be it … my father is not here anymore … do you think it makes any difference?

Hey, you want to show you are a filial son? Show it when your old folks are alive. You want to show that you respect them when they are gone? You do whatever they taught you and you do it well … that is the greatest respect you can show.

I have done whatever I need to do for my father … maybe not a lot but I have done whatever that is in my capacity as a son for his father. I have done it for him when he was alive. Now that he is no longer with us … I don’t think whatever I do now can show anything good for him … least of all, pray.

I DON’T PRAY … I don't believe in praying. To me, praying is just a way of doing absolutely NOTHING but still think you have helped.

December 05, 2012

Life's too f**king short?

In the last “boy’s night out” with my good friends … as usual, plenty of beers, jokes and laughter but amidst all that, we also talked casually about the many challenges of life. And (what I think is) the most common question people asked about life … “what is life?” became a point of discussion. Though we made a few attempts to discuss it seriously but in a state of alcohol induced mind, we never really get to anything serious … instead, we got carried away with a variety of whimsical views and opinions about life.

The next day (and very much sober) I thought of it again, this time seriously … what is life? Let me share my thoughts here.

I have heard people ask this question too many times … from listening to many people and reading from so many sources, I have not come across anything close enough that can offer a fitting answer on what is life. Many have tried to provide their views … some made a bit of sense but most just gave a few sentences of generalized opinions.

Do you ask … “what is life?” Are you hoping that the answer can be found in an expressive sentence or in a few meaningful words? Have you found the answer you are looking for? Don’t look for it … I don’t think you will find anything searching the internet nor do you get any answers from inspirational books and you definitely won’t get it from what I am writing here. Yes, there are many meaningful life quotes written or said by famous people but don’t take their words for it … go live it yourself.

What is life? Don’t ask … if you are asking then you are not living life. Why? Life is not meant to be asked … it is meant to be lived, it demands to be lived. It can be good, can be bad … some days it is easy, other days it can be very painful. But live it … bit by bit, moment by moment and day by day … THAT, is life.

Very often life passes by unknowingly and too quickly … then it is too late to start searching for what you have missed knowing very well that you cannot replace lost time. Maybe you can seek solace in some life quotes. Maybe that few words can provide a bit of consolation but more likely in frustration and desperation, you curse in anguish … life’s too f**king short!

No … life is not short, you just waited too f**king long to start living it.