Try harder.

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When I first started working in the advertising industry, I remember a case study of a unique advertising campaign launched by Avis (the car rental company) many years ago. The campaign tagline simply goes like this “We try harder”. You see, back then Hertz was clearly the leader in the car rental business. But what Avis did was to put the message across to the public admitting that they are only No. 2 in the car rental business and that is exactly why they are going to try harder. This tagline stayed with me until today.

I believe in trying harder… always. Once in a job interview, I was asked a very common question “Where will you like to be in 5 years time when you join this company?” My answer was “I don’t know but I will try hard to do my best and wherever it is going to be, it will come naturally”. Then I was asked again “What if, it doesn’t come?” And I said “Then I will have to try harder”.

Throughout my working life, I met some very good people who believed in me and gave me a lot of opportunities to build a career in the corporate world. Due to my lack of paper qualifications, I have to try very hard to carve out a good career in the corporate world and I have to try even harder not to let these people down. I hope I did not let them down.

It is good to place things at the No. 2 perspective and see how to make them better. There is always room for improvement. We just have to try harder.

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You complain about your shoes ...

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You know, I thought I was very poor when I was growing up. I used to tell people that I only have 10 cents for pocket money when I was in school. I told many people on how the 7 of us (5 siblings and my parents) stayed in a rented room until I was 12 years old. We can only afford chicken a few times a year during festive days and so on and so forth.

Well, if that was what I called poor, then I do not know how to describe the situation of the family in the video below (I am sure many have seen this video before).

http://www.cultureunplugged.com/play/1081/Chicken-a-la-Carte

This is a true situation that is actually happening now. It shows a really poor family living on the waste that we threw away every day. When I saw this, it makes me think how wonderful my life was while growing up. I had proper food on the table. I had school. I had good clothing. I had a lot more things compared to them.

I remember my ex-boss once said this to me: “You complain about your shoes, some people don’t even have legs”. Those exact words reflected clearly on my mind when I saw the video.

Let me tell you now, I won't complain about my shoes anymore.
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Pain In The Ass

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Now, I am not talking about someone irritating that I dislike. I am actually talking about myself. For the last 2 weeks, I literally suffered from pain in the ass. What? Hemorrhoids (aka piles) … you see, I had piles for a while already but just did not want to do anything about it. According to statistics found on the internet, 50% of people above age 45 have piles. Surprise? I was surprised too when I read this. Many people got this problem but are just too embarrassed to talk about it. Like me, when it did not cause any pain or discomfort, I could not be bother with it. It went on for a while and finally it reached a point that I can no longer ignore it and have to go for treatment. I was recommended to a good doctor and was advised to do a “rubber band ligation” procedure by the doctor. Let me share my experience so that maybe it could be a big help for those who are too shy to discuss it.

“Rubber band ligation” procedure is a fairly simple procedure where the doctor uses a device to tie a rubber band around the base of the pile. This will stop the blood feeding the pile and naturally (over a few days) it will shrink and fall off. Simple? Yes, I had 5 piles ligated in about 30 minutes. Everything’s OK? NO … immediately after the procedure, the trouble starts. First the pain kicks in and not just the pain, also the uncomfortable feeling around the rectum. The rectum starts to swell and it feels like you have several marbles inserted inside. I also got this terrible urge to go to the toilet. But as the doctor said, it is not that the bowel is full, it is due to the swelling. Then I find it difficult to urinate. This was due to the urinary muscle being affected by the swelling. But after a few hours, I manage to pass urine and you can imagine how relived I was.

The first couple of days were absolutely hell. I cannot sit, cannot stand, cannot lie down and cannot sleep. The pain killers did little to ease my misery. The pain, swelling and urge (to go to the toilet) was really bothering me. I lost appetite and did not eat much. I was also afraid of eating too much and then have a difficult bowel movement. Every time I have bowel movement, it is painful and causes a bit of swelling again. And you get this feeling like you did not completely discard everything and still have some lumps in it. It was quite uncomfortable.

A few days went by and it got a bit better but the swelling still did not subside. I felt less pain and have better bowel movement every morning. Since the procedure, I stuck to a very strict diet of soft food, fruits, vegetables and high fiber supplements. That kept the stool soft and easily discarded during bowel movements.

By the time I finished the two weeks of medication prescribed by the doctor, I was a lot more relieved that the swelling and pain subsided considerably. I was told that for full recovery, I need another 2 weeks. I lost a total of 7kg. But I don’t think anyone would like to lose weight this way.

I am not trying to scare you with the gory details but I believe it is good to share this information. For those who are suffering quietly from piles, get it treated as soon as possible. Do not wait (like me) until it get worse because it will be a lot more painful when you go for treatment then. I suggest you find out what types of piles you have and what stage they are in. Also, very importantly, seek out various treatments that are suitable for you. There is a lot of information on piles and the treatments available on the internet. By all means, consult a specialist on what is the best treatment for you.

Strain, constipation, stress and pregnancy are a few main reasons that cause piles to form. Watch your everyday diet and ensure that you have enough fiber intake and proper bowel movement. I hope you will not have to be a “pain in the ass” like me. Stay healthy!
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How much is enough?

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How much do you need? Ever asked yourself how much is enough? The chinese words in the above carricature literally means "the less things you have, the less desire you have". I think I can relate to these words very well.

When I resigned from a permanent job sometime ago and decided to take a long break, many people said that I have made enough already and probably have a big pile stashed away somewhere so that I do not have to work for the rest of my life. They said: "Wah, so young can "tui yau" (retire) already". I just turned 47 and a good friend actually presented me with two sticks on my recent birthday and told me that I can "tar pai keok, ng sai lou" (whack my legs ... one stick for the left leg, one for the right leg and stop working) for the rest of my life. Of course it was meant to be a joke.

Well, have I made enough? YES, I can afford what I NEED to live life decently. I have no problem getting all my "need to haves" from Carrefour, Giant, Tesco and occassionally Jusco or Parkson. But I cannot afford the "nice to haves" from Pavillion, KLCC and Starhill.

Can I stop working for the rest of my life? NO, I cannot and I do not want to stop working, at least not yet. BUT I would like take it a lot easier and work at my own pace now. Even though I do not expect to earn as much as I did, what I really want is to have a lot more time. The real "nice to have" for me is the quality time for my family, my friends and myself.

There is a good story that someone told me long ago. In short, it goes something like this:

There was an old man who lived near a river. And the river is full of fishes but everyday the old man only goes out for a while in the morning to catch a few fishes, just enough for his family.

One day a young man came by the old man's house and asked the old man why he did not catch more fishes from the river. The young man told the old man that since the river is full of fishes, he could start a big business. He could catch more fishes and sells them for a profit. With the profit, he could buy more boats and hire more people to catch even more fishes and sell them for a bigger profit.

The old man then ask the young man why should he do that. The young man says that with all the money he does not have to work anymore and then he can spend more time with his family. The old man then tells the young man that it is exactly what he is doing right now. He just spend a little bit of time to catch a few fishes so that he has more time with his family.

Of course the "need to haves" and "nice to haves" are different for every other people. So the question of "How much is enough?" really depends on each individual. The sad thing is that many people do not know how much is actually enough for them. Even sadder is that they think that with more to show off materialistically, the happier they will be. And engrossed in the mad rush to chase after materialistic gains, many do not realise that they ignored their own well being, their family and their friends in the process. I hear many people say "You know, I spent so much time and worked so hard to make a lot of money and buy the best things for all so that I can make everyone happy". Sounds familiar?

So what is the meaning of happinesss? I do not know about other people's definition of happiness. Mine is just very simple. I am happy to cook for my familly. I am happy that I found a nice book for just RM7.90 at a bargain store. I am happy to have time to read the book. I am happy to be able to fix the broken back door in my house. I am happy to go trekking and enjoy the nature. I am happy that I just spent RM10 a week on petrol on my motorbike. I am happy that I see my friends more often. I am happy that I wake up before the alarm rings. I am happy to pluck the coconuts I planted in front of my house. I am happy that I managed to book cheap tickets from a budget airline. I am happy that I have time to learn music at 47 years old. I am happy that I have time to write my blog.

You see, simple things make me very happy. Earlier when I said that I can relate to the words in the above carricature very well, it is very true. I do not want a lot of things so I have less desires. But you know what? I am a lot happier this way.

So how much is enough for you? And are you happy?



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HE KNOWS F***ING EVERYTHING!

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Someone sent me a joke recently ... a very good one and it goes like this:

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Encyclopedia Britannica For Sale.

Brand New. 45 Volumes.

Going Very Cheap. No Longer Needed.

HUSBAND KNOWS F***ING EVERYTING!

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Have you come across people who think they know everything? I have ... as a matter of fact, quite a few of them. Among them, there is one particular person who is the king of "know it all". We nicknamed him Mr “Mut Tow Sik” (Know It All). You just simply cannot have a conversation with this person. Everything you said he knows, he experienced it before and he always has a story to tell. There is nothing in the world that he doesn't already know. Even the oddest thing in the world, he somehow has a link to it. You can talk about global warming, he will tell you he is involved in a worldwide community to help reduce global warming. When you ask him what is the name of the community, he cannot remember.

Mr Know It All also claims he knows a lot of “low sai” (big shot). You can hear him boasting that this “low sai” invites him for this or that “low sai” calls him for that. I once told him that when a “low sai” invites or calls him, that is nothing. If he can picks up his phone and calls the so called “low sai” at anytime, then I will say that he has got something. I asked him: “Eh … why every time it is the “low sai” that invites you? Why never heard of you inviting the “low sai”? I told him that he was just one of those “on the way, by the way” guys to fill up the extra spaces”.

These people boast so much that it is so easy to trap them at their own game. Mr Know It All got it from me once. It was during a small gathering and the topic was doctors and hospitals. We were talking about some personal experience and as usual our Mr Know It All seems to know every good doctor in Malaysia. If you have any health problem whether it is cancer, prostrate, kidney problems … anything, he has got someone to recommend.

I got so fed up with him so I decided to trap him. I made up a bogus doctor from India who works in Malaysia called Dr KEIHS (“SHIEK” spelled backwards) and said that this doctor is famous for treating kidney stones. I asked if he knew this doctor and I would like to get the doctor’s contact. As expected he walked straight into the net. Acting confidently he told me that he knew this doctor and as a matter of fact he met him a long time ago when he visited one of his friends who was treated by this same doctor in a hospital in KL. He said he will call his friend to find out where the doctor is now and let me know. I knew I got him … hook, line and sinker. I did not want to blow his cover and embarrass him for his wife sake. He still does not realise it until today.

You can never ask Mr Know It All to go along for food. Every time we go for some popular food, whether it is the SunwayMas “bak kut teh” or the roasted duck at Pudu or some other places, Mr Know It All will always have a better place. He wants to be on top of everything. Even when you say someone's fart stinks, he will say his fart is stinkier.

I am somehow stuck with Mr Know It All because his wife is a very good friend of my family and our children attend some classes together. As much as I want to avoid it, I do see him every now and then. During CNY we met again and as usual he was boasting and glorifying his past after a few beers (he was born rich but wasted all the money left by his parents). He has never had a permanent job in his life, totally depending on his wife’s income. I actually told him to go to the “pasar malam” (night market) and buy a pair of “tor hai” (slippers) and put them into the rice cooker to cook together with the rice so that he can eat “tor hai farn” (eat slipper rice … which means living off a woman’s income in Cantonese). He is so thick skin that he actually thought that was a good idea.

People like Mr Know It All are beyond salvation. Even when god sees them, god will also say: “OH MY GOD!”.

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The three lives

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During one of the recent CNY gatherings the subject of three lives (or “sam sai” in Cantonese) came up. Those who believe in reincarnation should be familiar with what people called three lives or “sam sai” which means your previous, present and future lives. I was told that there is a “sifu” (a medium) in Perak who is able to tell those who are interested who they were in their previous lives, what is in store for them in their present lives and what they will be in their next lives. Interesting isn’t it? Do you want to know your three lives?

First lets not go too far, let us just look at the present. You want to know how your children will treat you when you get old? First ask yourself how did you treat your parents. That will be exactly how your children is going to treat you. You want to know if you will die in peace. Ask yourself have you committed any sins that have caused people to suffer. If you have made people suffer, you will receive the same. Maybe not now but it will come.

Many people thinks that money can wash away all their sins. They are so wrong. There is a very popular story of a corrupted man who spent his ill gotten millions trying to cure a terminal disease that struck him. With all the money, he cannot fine a cure for the disease. Then he turned to charity, donated a lot of money to charity hoping for a miracle. That did not work either. He suffered during the last two years of his life and passed away a broken man. Many donated to charity hoping to redeem themselves. Well, that is not what charity is all about. Charity is not for you to exchange for a miracle or wash away your guilt.

And back to the subject of three lives … I don’t really believe this. But if it is true and there is reincarnation, you don't have to look for the "sifu" to tell you. I can also tell you about your three lives. I believe in “what goes around comes around”. So if you want to know what your previous life was, simple, just look at how your life is now. If your life now is absolutely miserable, then in your previous life you must have been a very bad person. Similarly if you want to know how your future life will be, that will depend on what you do now in your present life. If you do good now, you can expect a good life when you reincarnate. It is that simple.

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Siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas

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God must have liked corrupted people. Why? ... because he made so many of them. In my working life, I came across too many. Who are they? Well, whoever it is, like the Malay proverb goes : ‘Siapa makan cili, dia rasa pedas’.

A good friend of mine was given hell by his new supervisor for the last several months and finally he decided that he has enough of it and left the company. Why did his supervisor gave him hell? Because he did not used a supplier which was ‘recommended’ by his supervisor. My friend did not use that supplier because the relationship of his supervisor and the supplier were very suspicious. And from that moment onwards, his supervisor starts to find fault on everything he do in the office. Finally he just gave up and resigned.

Why he did not bring up the issue with the MD or the CEO? Well, as I have said, it was just a suspicion. I am sure his supervisor is clever enough not to leave any evidence which can be used to hang him. Just like what we all heard not too long ago that someone was getting kickbacks in millions of dollars in a submarine deal … just hearsay, no concrete proof. What can we do?

This type of situation exist everywhere and everyday in many organisations, big or small. Nepotism, cronies and kickbacks ... I have come across them many times and like my good friend, I walked away from it because I just cannot do anything and cannot proof them. You know very well that something fishy is happening but you just cannot proof it and if you ask too many questions, you will be ‘marked’ and headed for hard times.

I used to work under a guy that every time when our department needs to procure something for our marketing activities, he will ask me or other managers to seek samples and quotations from various suppliers. After that, he will instruct us to submit the quotations and samples to him for verification and his approval. What he did was take the sample and ask his choice of suppliers to copy almost exactly and provide a quote to match. This was done without informing us. Then he will issue purchase orders to the suppliers that he has chosen. And when we question the process, he will always say he has worked with the chosen suppliers before and they can guarantee quality and prompt delivery. He always has some sort of justifications. This happened 9 out of 10 times when the department made procurements. Fishy? Did he receive any kickbacks? Nobody knows.

There was another guy who within 2 weeks of becoming my immediate boss has given me a list of suppliers that he ‘highly’ recommends to the company. He said that he has worked with those suppliers and they were very good and reliable. I was instructed to meet with them and provide them with a list of our activities that we have planned and have them provide quotations for their services and products. When I told him that we already have existing suppliers working with us, he said that one of the changes he want to bring into the company was to enlarge the current pool of suppliers to increase competitiveness and cost efficiency. He has given my contact to his ‘recommended’ suppliers and asked them to call me. When I refuse to meet with the suppliers, I was reprimanded and accused of giving favours to existing suppliers. Of course he is clever enough not to accuse me directly but from the tone and manner as well as the words he used, you can read in between the lines. There were times when he asked me to accompany him out for market visits or go for lunch where he has already made arrangement to meet up with various suppliers during these outings so that I can meet with them as well. He was always checking on which supplier I used and what the price was. I almost asked him if that was all he do as a marketing head. I am sure he will say that it is for the good of the company. There was one time when he threw his weight on me and insisted on giving a project to one of his 'recommended' supplier. I refused to allow it and did not use the supplier he recommended. It was just one of his cronies. I knew his blood was boiling but of course he is clever not show it.

Once he got over his probation period, I can immediately sense the 'troubles' coming my way. I knew I was 'marked' and later things got from bad to worse. Then I started to count my days in the company.

Then there are managers who favour certain suppliers because these suppliers have beautiful girls servicing the account. Working day in and day out with these managers you can see how they are so bias towards the suppliers who are beautiful and sociable after work. I have seen managers who have different female suppliers sending them to work almost every morning. Not just one time or one week … I have seen too many times to be suspicious. Then you can see that it was always those suppliers with beautiful account servicing females that got the orders or contracts whether it was for media campaigns, PR projects, advertising jobs or event managements. Now you tell me if there is nothing fishy here. If this is not nepotism, what is it?

But what can the people like us do? You know something fishy is going on … should we bring it up to the MD or CEO? Without any proof, what can we expect? Many will keep quiet to avoid direct confrontation. I walk away from these people and sometimes even if I have to leave a good career. I walked away not because I am afraid to fight but because I do not want to fight in an arena that I cannot win. My friends told me that I was absolutely stupid. Maybe from their point of view but from where I stand, that is my principle.
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What are you missing?

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I would like to share with all the below article which was taken from The Star, Sunday January 11, 2009. It was contributed by Mr Benedict Lee. This is a great article and I am sure we will all benefit from the wisdom of this article.


What are you missing?

A MAN sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a three-year-old boy. His mother tagged him along, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time.

This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only six people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk at their normal pace. He collected US$32 (RM112). When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth US$3.5mil (RM12.25mil).

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theatre in Boston and the seats average US$100 (RM350).

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organised by the Washington Post as part of an social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people.

The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognise the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?


This article reminds me of what I always say : “Live a live rather than just stay alive”. We are so engrossed with the ever increasing challenge of staying on top of the materialistic world that many of us forgot to take a moment to appreciate all the things around us. In the madness of the rat race, we never know how much we missed.

I would like to thank Mr Benedict Lee for this valuable contribution.

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Link to the article in The Star :

http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2009/1/11/lifefocus/2968110&sec=lifefocus

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