April 28, 2014

When you are dead, you don’t know you are dead ...


Errr ... looking at the title you must be wondering if this is going to be another one of my views on the taboo subject of death. Relax ... this is not about death. I am not going to get controversial with my ideas and beliefs relating to death on this article. So, what’s with the title then? Be patient, stay with me ... I will get to it eventually.

Now, here is my story ... a couple of weeks ago I was invited to a birthday dinner ... a 60th birthday celebration of one of my trekking buddies. Our group (of regular trekkers) was seated together with a few other guests and I sat next to a woman ... I was told she is an old classmate of the host. In a very short moment, I realized what it was going to be for the rest of the evening.

Boy oh boy ... what an earful evening it was. You see, this woman just cannot stop talking ... she was babbling all night about everything under the sky. Now, I don’t mind listening ... but this woman is just spewing out a whole lot of nonsense.

Really, a lot of NONSENSE ... you don’t believe me? OK, let me tell you what she was telling us. Now get this ... she told us she KNOWS where MH370 has landed. Wow ! WOW !!! When all the real experts around the world are searching the ocean with planes, satellites and submarines trying to find a logical explanation to what happened to flight MH370 ... here we have a woman who knows where the plane landed. The way she said it, the tone and manner she displayed when telling us ... really, she was not joking ... she was (in my terminology) ‘cocksure’ that the plane has landed on an island in Indonesia.

And how did she gets to know about MH370? Apparently her ‘sifu’ (master) told her ... she then went on to tell us about her ‘sifu’  ... a seemingly powerful guy nicknamed ‘dragon king’ and you know what? This ‘dragon king’ can summon the 12 Chinese zodiac animals to be present at his rituals and ceremonies ... fuyohhhhh !!! Then she said she has photos in her smartphone to prove it ... she flashed the photos and I caught a glimpse of some smoky, wavy forms which she insisted are figures of the 12 Chinese zodiac animals ... that is what she believe.

Honestly, I don’t know what to say ... I am sure you have an idea of how the rest of the evening was to be.

I kept rather quiet trying to ignore this woman but I can’t help listening to her babbling all night to the rest of the people seated on the same table ... she seems to know EVERYTHING. Whatever the subject ... places, food, politics, medicines, beliefs, rituals ... she knows it all. And Madam “Knows It All” always have to say something. If all of us were idiots then we would have believed what she said ... but really, it only takes a bit of common sense to see that half of what she said has no logic and the other half is just rubbish.

The dinner went on with me keeping rather quiet because I like watching people making a fool of themselves ... quite amusing actually.

And like most Chinese dinner celebrations, towards the end of the dinner there was a karaoke session and someone sang a popular song by Teresa Teng. When the name Teresa Teng was mentioned, our Madam ‘Knows It All’ quickly grab the opportunity on the subject and asked us ... “Do you all know how Teresa Teng died?”

Here it goes again ... so how did Teresa Teng die? I couldn’t be bothered really but then let see what Madam ‘Knows It All’ have to say and there is nothing to lose anyway. And Madam ‘Knows It All’ said excitedly ... “You know, Teresa Teng was murdered ... really, you all don’t know but I know, she was killed because she was a SPY ... when the ‘gwai lows’ (foreigners) found out that she was spying against them, they poisoned her”. Hmmmm! How interesting ... I have absolutely no idea. But how did Madam ‘Knows It All’ gets to know about all this ... she did not say, maybe hoping that someone will ask her. But all of us kept quiet ... we knew not to ask as it will give her another opportunity to unload more illogical and incongruous rubbish on us ... though it was amusing watching people making a fool of themselves (I don’t know about the rest) but I had enough of rubbish for the evening.

After the dinner, on the way home in our van we were all talking about Madam ‘Knows It All’ ... really we were a bit annoyed but amused at the same time and so we all jested about what she said. We were thankful that our spouses are not like her and someone made a joke about the husband of Madam ‘Knows It All’ ... the joke was quite crude so I am not going to mention it here but I would tell you a similar joke. It goes like this ... a husband puts up an advertisement as below :-

Urgent Sale !!!
60 Volumes of Comprehensive Encyclopedia
Don’t Need Them Anymore
WIFE KNOWS FUCKING EVERYTHING !!!

Yes, we hear and read all sorts of stories from various sources ... some believable, some skeptical, some possible, some suspicious, some bizarre ... but the important thing is, we must apply a filtering process with a bit of common sense and simple logic to differentiate those that carry a bit of truth, possibility and prospect from those that are just nothing but whole lot of rubbish. No matter what story we heard or read, I think any sane and rational individual will automatically apply this filtering process to understand and find if there is any logic and fact in the story. But sadly there are those who don’t know how to apply this simple logical filtering process or for some reason refuse to do it ... just believing whatever they read or heard and speaking about it without absolutely no true and logical sense of understanding what they are talking about ... for me, I will tag these people with one (for the lack of a better) word ... STUPID !

So what do all these have to do with the title? OK, here is the connection ... when you are dead, you don’t know you are dead ... same if you are STUPID !


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