Please grow up ...

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Some say that you can grow old but you don’t have to grow up … it is to say that one can be young at heart even though we are getting old. Well, I have no problem with that. But from a different perspective, I say that the reality of one growing old actually needs another growing up. What do I mean? 

OK, let me explain my point … by growing old, I am talking about letting go of things, taking a backseat, bowing out from obligations and enjoy the easy life for however long it may be. And by growing up, I meant the children carrying on the baton, taking on the challenges of life and learning to handle the responsibilities of their age. My philosophy is simple ... for one to grow old, the children must grow up.

But the problem is, some children just don’t grow up and there are too many young working adults out there who still rely on their parents for support. I heard this many times “No matter how old your kids are, they are still a baby in your eyes”. You can put it that way but it does not mean that you are to hold their hands forever … you don’t want to hold their hands forever. If they are holding on to your hands for too long … something is not right. 

We all heard of protective over-indulging parents ignorantly spoiling their children and some parents (knowingly) still carry the responsibilities of their adult children. Are you one of these parents? Look, the years are adding on, like it or not the wrinkles and grey hairs will show and come one day you would like to grow old … but can you? 

Anyway, I don’t know about others ... my hair is already turning grey but hey, I am not complaining … on the contrary, I am glad I can see my hair turning grey. Many unfortunate people did not live long enough to see their hairs turn grey. I don’t mind getting older … and in time to come, I want to grow old. I told my children many times (even though they are still at a young age) and I tell them again, so here is to my son and daughter “Please grow up … so I can grow old”.

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Study lor … study some more lor … then read lor

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I know of some parents who are very reluctant to let their kids have access to a computer or other digital devices at home. I once asked one such parent why and she said she is afraid that her children will be hooked on the computer games, Internet, watching online movies, chatting or drawn into other related activities. She told me she heard of stories that kids who are so hooked on the Internet that they refuse to go to school playing truant hanging out at Internet cafes. They are addicted to online games, watching movies on the Internet every day neglecting their studies. She don’t want her kids to be like that … so no computers, no Internet, no emails, no mobile phones, no MP3s, no game consoles … absolutely NOTHING !

When I asked these parents what do they like their kids to do on free time, I often hear … study lor. When I explained 'free time' means after the kids had finished studying, they told me … study some more lor. Then I asked what if their kids really don’t want to study anymore … what then? They said to me … then read lor. I don’t want to ask anymore.

Seems like this 'STUDY lor and STUDY SOME MORE lor and then READ lor” routine is the norm set in the minds of these parents for their kids’ free time. I feel bad for their kids … as if the kids have not read enough. Do the kids really like reading? Or they just don’t have any choice … because their parents think that computers and other digital devices are bad for them. Don’t get me wrong … I am not saying reading is not good. I want my kids to read too … it is a good habit but I don’t want my kids to just read and do nothing else. There are a lot more they need to do and learn while growing up at their age.

I disagree with parents who don’t allow their kids the necessity and convenience of the digital age. Look, kids today are born into the world of computers, mobile phones, iPads, Internet, emails, SMS, online games, FB, Twitter, Google, Skype, YouTube and so on and so forth. All these are not bad for the kids … these are part of their lives (whether you like it or not) and are what they learn from, what they talk about in schools, what they share with their classmates, what they laugh about with their friends and what they enjoy doing while growing up.

On the same notion, people like me who were born before the digital era, we grew up fly-fighting kites on sharpened glass-laced strings, throwing slippers at pile of picture cards, sharpening the nails on spin-tops, squatting on dusty roads playing marbles, running helter-skelter from “chopping” balls, catching spiders in jungles, climbing barefooted up a coconut tree, swimming stark naked in rivers and mining ponds, scaling slippery boulders at waterfalls … we were born into these activities … they were important parts of our growing years. Were these bad for us? I definitely don’t think so.

Surfing the Internet may have some bad elements as to flying kites with sharpened glass-laced strings has dangerous elements associated with it … but one cannot deny the kids of the contemporary things they are born into and the gizmos of their age that provide the necessity and convenience for them to grow up with. Whether they are kids of today spending time on the computer or kids of my era playing marbles on a dusty road, it is only bad if you don’t how to exert caution, discipline, supervision and control over it.

Don’t be too fast to blame the digital age and say it is bad for the kids. The digital age made our lives a little more convenient, a little more entertaining, a little more interesting and a whole lot more easier. If you don’t agree, try asking your kid to use the log book (if you still remember what a log book is) to do Logarithms instead of a calculator or computer software … I hope you see my point.

Note : Some readers who are not familiar with Malaysian slang may not understand the word “lor” used in the above article. “Lor” is a local slang popularly used to imply “what else?”… so “study lor” simply means “study, what else?”

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The world don’t have to know

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Every year around this time (nearing Chinese New Year), I will get quite a number of calls from various people asking me if I want to make donations to various charity homes and centers. A few ask me to join them so that they can collect a total amount and make a donation to whatever charity homes or centers they have selected. My usual question is … why the need to collect from everyone and total it up to a big lump sum? Someone told me that way it looks better donating a bigger amount. Then my next question is … looks better for who?

What is the purpose of making a donation … to look good? So that you can show and tell everyone that you have done a very good deed and you want people to recognize you for that? Does it bother you if you are only making a small contribution … so you need to make a big donation to look better?

I am sure the intention is good and worthy and I am sure the charity homes and centers will benefit from the good initiative. But for me, I don’t make donation this way … as a matter of fact, I don’t like making donation this way at all. I don’t like the idea of people wanting to make a big donation so that “it looks better” for some reasons.

Please don’t call me and ask me to participate in your “it looks better” donation plan. I have my own idea of contributing to the unfortunate ones (if I do contribute any) … I may not have a lot to give but I give whatever I can afford to whoever I think needs it. That’s all I will tell you. And you don’t have to tell me about your donations and contributions to charitable causes … I don’t want to know and I have no reasons to appreciate it.

Really, at the end of the day, as long as you know and you feel good that you have done your part to help the unfortunate ones, that is enough … the rest of the world don’t have to know.

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I am a dog, not a cat … and you are my “god”

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I have been thinking back lately … way back … a few decades back and yes, I am that old already. I thought to myself, I am a very fortunate person … in many important turning points of my life, I met people who helped me unselfishly. Starting from primary school, I remember Puan Salleh, who was very fond of me (and knowing that my family was poor) made sure that I was given free school meals (oats and bread) during recess. Sometimes she even brings homemade sandwiches for me. She gave me my first story book called Aesob’s Fables … I must say that she actually got me started on reading.

When I started working (after secondary school), my very first job was an electrician. A couple of years into the job, one of my bosses, Mr Looi, asked me to leave the company … not that he wanted to fire me but he actually recommended me to work with his friend. He found out that I was quite good at drawing so he convinced me that I would be better off working as a draughtsman than an electrician. That provided a good stepping stone into the next level of my working life.

So what the hell all these have to do with dog, cat and “god”? Stay with me … read on.

From there, I moved on to a technical design job with an international British company … working under an English guy called Mr Philip Waldron who exposed me to all the technical design works in the construction industry. Mr Philip Waldron taught me well and recommended me for an overseas assignment in HongKong. I worked on one of the projects of the famous HongKong Shanghai Bank building. Back in those days, when you get sent overseas to work, it is a BIG thing! My father actually called for a “torng kai pai sun” (slaughter chicken to offer to the ancestors) thanksgiving session for the family. Really, it was that BIG!

The British company ceased operation during to the mid 1980s recession and I was paid off adequately. With a bit of money in hand, I decided to go back to study … and I went to study Commercial Arts for a year. After that I joined an advertising company doing mainly audio video production works. A couple of years with the company, Mr Harold Nettleton, a senior partner, encouraged me to try my luck in the corporate world … “join the client” as he put it. He said “Shiek, on the agency side, people pay, you run whereas on the client side, you pay, people run”. And I took his advice.

So, I applied for a Marketing position in a newly formed division of an insurance company. It was the biggest turning point of my life. Under the guidance of the division’s head Mr Tan Cheng Keang (or CK as we called him), I started my first job in the corporate world as a Marketing Executive. It was CK who gave me the opportunities to develop myself and moved from an Executive to a Manager of the Direct Marketing Department. After 5 years with the company CK left for higher career advancement and a few months later, I too decided to leave.

Hey, where is the dog, the cat and the “god”? Hang on … I will come to them soon.

I then formed an advertising design agency. Again, it was CK (now MD of his company) who gave me one of my first advertising contracts and many more to come. With the support from CK and other clients, I operated the company until the late 1990s when the financial crisis at that time forced me to close the agency. I applied for job in a Swedish automobile company and got myself back into the corporate world.

 A couple of years later another opportunity knocks on my door. It was CK again, who offered me a job in his company as a Brand Manager for a famous scotch whisky. Without any hesitation, I went to work with CK advancing my career to another level in the corporate world. Though it did not last very long, it turned out to be the best years of my working life … a very rewarding and satisfying four and a half years in the wines and spirits industry before I made a decision to call it a day ... that was almost 4 years ago.

Okay, here comes the dog, cat and “god” part … you see, I am like a dog … dogs, when you provide them with food, water, shelter and affection, they will think you are god.  I am not a cat because cats, when you provide them with food, water, shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods (an excerpt from a quote by the late Christopher Hitchens). As for "god”, I don’t really believe there is an invisible guy up there … so, the people I mentioned here and also many whom I did not mention (I am sure they know who they are), I want you all to know, you guys are my “gods” who have provided for me, helped me and guided me to where I am today. I thank you all sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

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My kids just don't listen !

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Parents out there, I am sure many (if not all) parents agree that your children (on most days) are good but can be difficult at times … stubborn, naughty, playful, hyperactive, quiet, talkative … all sorts. As parents we try our very best to bring them up in the best possible way we can … but sometimes we just don’t understand them. And how many times we have complained and said “My kids just don’t listen !”

I am not an expert … I don’t know of any “sure-win” formula or any tested method of raising good children. There are plenty of books out there that will tell you what to do and offer some good ideas to raise a good kid but I have yet to find one that offers how to teach the kids to listen. But then again, maybe you should not be too worried if they don’t listen. Why? 

Let me share something with you … I remember watching a promotional short story aired on national TV some years ago. The story was a about a couple with two children staying with an old man (grandfather of the kids). The scene shows the couple setting up for dinner while the kids were watching and they only set the table for 4 persons … another table was set up outside the house for the old man because he was disorderly due to his senility. Then the couple and the two children ate dinner at the dinner table while the old man ate his dinner alone outside.

The next scene shows the two children playing with toy tables and chairs while their parents were watching … and then the children playfully began to set up the toys tables and chairs for dinner. They set up a dinner table and then set up another table a distance away for two persons. And when their parents asked why another table was set up ... the kids simply replied it is for them (the parents) when they grow old. Now, I am sure you can see the strong emotional message here. Kids … whatever they see, they do.

Like all parents, I have the same problem. My kids don’t listen to me too but I am not too worried about that. The way I look at it … don’t worry too much if your kids are not listening to you, you should be more worried that they are watching you.

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I am “not there yet”

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Someone asked me why I decided to take life easy and slowed down while I am still at a “workable” age. He told me “You have to look forward, move forward, keep going, don’t slow down and if you still can, go for it”. I want to ask … move forward, keep going for what? Keep slogging for more so that I can show people that I have made it?

Back in the days when I was working with a luxury car company, I did some focus groups (research) on luxury car owners of a well known brand. I asked them what their thoughts were when they bought that expensive brand. All of them agreed that driving that particular brand, they are able to tell people the message “I have arrived” … meaning they have made it in life. 

Now, I don’t drive that particular expensive brand of luxury car nor do I own any other luxury car brands … I just cannot afford one. So what does that mean? I am “not there yet”? So I need to keep moving, keep working for more (while I am still "workable") … then I can show people that “I have arrived”? Nope ... that's not for me.

I looked and moved forward already … many years ago I set my goals, worked very hard, chased after my dreams … slowly, over the years, I managed to come to where I am now. Though I do not have anything to show but I too can proudly say that “I have arrived” to where I wanted to be. 

For now I can slow down. I don’t want to keep moving and chasing for more. I want to stay where I am, do what I enjoy and live the simple life the way I want. I am taking life and doing things at an easy pace. So I am staying put … that doesn’t mean I am slacking backwards in life … I am learning new things, absorbing new ideas and keeping up with new innovations that help make my life a lot easier.

Do I look forward now? Yes … I just look forward to a simple healthy life. That’s good enough. Don’t need to look forward too much … at my age if I looked a bit too far, I see death … now, I am definitely not looking forward to that. And for that matter, I am very glad to say I am “not there yet”.
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Trekking Gunung Ulu Semangkuk

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Gunung Ulu Semangkuk is not a popular (among local trekkers) mountain located in Ulu Teranum Forest Reserve in Fraser’s Hill. Only a handful of trekkers ventured to this peak  … not much information can be found on the internet with regards to this mountain. We first trekked this mountain sometime last year after coming across some information from the internet. Subsequently we went there again a couple of times last year.

On 15^th October 2011 we decided to trek Semangkuk again after a few fellow trekkers who have not been to this place requested us to show them the trail … so off we go. Five of us met early at 6.00am in Puchong and another group will meet us at the GAP traffic exchange point in Fraser’s Hill (GAP is the place where vehicles take turns to use the one-way road up and down Fraser’s Hill… traffic going up is at odd hours and traffic coming down is at even hours). First we drove to Rawang town for breakfast and then proceed towards Fraser’s Hill driving through Kuala Kubu Bahru. When we reached GAP traffic exchange point, the other group of 4 trekkers were already there. We quickly put on our trekking gears and head to the entry point of the trail leading to Gunung Semangkuk.

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The entrance of the trail is just opposite this wooden house ... those new to this trail have to search for it among the ferns and bushes

Group photo ... the entrance of the trail is just behind us

 The entry point of the trail is just opposite the abandoned wooden house (used to be a restaurant) about 200 meters before the GAP traffic exchange point … quite obscure hidden by ferns and bushes. It is a small slope straight up into a fairly dense bamboo forest. From the thick vegetation and fallen bamboo trunks, we guessed that this trail has not been trekked for a while. It was a bit of a hassle going through the bamboo forest but after going through it, the trail starts to get easier with a few fallen trees along the trail. At this altitude, the air is cool and misty … the trail is straight up to a lower peak of Gunung GAP … it took us about 45 minutes to reach the peak of Gunung GAP where we rested for a while. From our previous experience, we knew from Gunung GAP, the trail will go up and down through a few valleys before reaching our targeted peak … about 2 hours of trekking to go.

(Left photo) First timer Mr Ooi getting through fallen bamboo trunks

(Right photo) Ms Yap and husband Ah Seng trekking up a slope

 (Left photo) Mr Ong and I sharing a joke

(Right photo) Lim Chin Keat taking a quick rest

(Left photo) Mr Ho ... slow and steady

(Right photo) Ms Yap, Ah Seng, Johnson and Mr Ong

We saw plenty of bamboo shoots along the trail and a sign board telling us that we are in Ulu Teranum Forest Reserve

After a short rest we trek down a valley from GAP peak and heads towards Gunung Ulu Semangkuk … the trail is fairly clear with some old tape markings still visible. We were quite happy to enjoy the cool, misty and breezy walk in the middle of the forest full of penetrating mid morning sun rays … what a good way to enjoy the great nature! We have to trek though a few valleys, occasionally greeted by fallen trees and a few tricky slopes … nothing we cannot handle. And after about one and a half hours we reached a deep valley … from this valley, the trail is a fairly tough straight climb up to the peak of Gunung Ulu Semangkuk. We tackled the valley carefully and then trek straight up to the peak … finally after one hour and forty minutes, we arrived at the peak of Gunung Ulu Semangkuk … 1,394m ASL (source from Internet).

 An elevation layout of the trail going up to Gunung Ulu Semangkuk (source from the internet)

Not much has changed at the peak since our last trek here many months ago … maybe it is because not many trekkers visited to this peak. From the peak, there isn’t much to see as the surrounding view is blocked by trees and other vegetation. A short trail leads to another side of the peak where the view is better … we can see the surrounding mountains of the Titiwangsa range.

 

 Mr Ooi and Steven Chin happy to make it to the peak

 Group photo at the peak of Gunung Ulu Semangkuk

We rested at the peak and had our lunch … my RM1.00 nasi lemak daun pisang tasted especially good after being carried up almost 3 hours to the peak. All of us enjoyed trekking Gunung Ulu Semangkuk although the travelling distance is quite long coming from PJ/Subang area. At the peak, we exchanged views and opinions of the trail and as usual cracked some jokes and laughs. Then it was time to descend … after cleaning up and packing our stuffs, we descended quickly. The descent was not a problem to all of us and in about 2 hours we made it out of the forest safely.

 The freezing waterfall where we freshened up

We then drove down a few kilometers to a waterfall to clean up … the freezing water was a bit too much for some while others had a splashing time.

Like all our trekking outings, a good trek will end with good food and there are plenty of good restaurants in both Kuala Kubu Bahru and nearby Ulu Yam. We decided to have an early dinner at Kuala Kubu Bahru … a good dinner it was … we filled our stomachs with a table full of recommended local dishes … a great finale to a good trekking outing.

... you TAKE IT !!!

The famous APPLE’s founder Steve Jobs passed away recently and the whole internet world was full of everything about Steve Jobs. I too was reading about him and came across an excerpt from his famous Stanford University’s speech in 2005 … “Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” Great words from a great man.

Honestly, many years ago I thought of something along that line … maybe not as sophisticated as Steve Jobs said it, not in the whole context and definitely in a lot lesser words … my thought was a simple question … “when can you live your own life?”. 

I want to ask how many can say they are really living their own lives, listening to their inner voices and following their dreams? Maybe Steve Jobs did it but how many Steve Jobs are there? It is almost impossible to totally avoid being influenced by the things around us … like it or not, a large part of our lives is already dictated by “sensible” obligations etched into us directly or subliminally. So many people are living a life dictated by someone else … they may not realize that they are living a life influenced by other’s opinion and that they are actually living someone else’s life. Even if they knew it, they deny it.

Do you feel that all these while, in your life, you are just an actor/actress given a script to read and direction to follow? Do you feel that something is missing in your life? Look at your life now and ask yourself how much the life you are living is your very own, how much time you have left from where you are now? 

Ask yourself when can you live your own life? Maybe you can start now … maybe you should tell yourself “enough is enough”. Maybe you should put whatever time you have left to write, direct and acts out your very own life. Maybe when people tell you to “take it easy”, you TAKE IT !!!

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