I should be in heaven

WHAT?

Hey Shiek, just a month ago you said you will go to hell … now you say you should be in heaven? What talking you lah?

OK, this time let me get straight to the point … I promise you, no beating around the bushes.

The belief is … good people go to heaven and bad people go to hell right? And a good guy hangs around with the good guys in good places and a bad dude will mix with other bad dudes in rowdy places. Isn’t that what most people believed in, isn’t that what we see in movies and isn’t that how most people were brought up and taught to be?

So, the guy who is in charge of heaven, the lovable Mr Able, the goody goody fella … probably the best of all things good and what he (maybe she) likes? Good people of course! So he (or she) welcomes all the good people to heaven and all the good people become friends and live happily in heaven … so far so good?

OK … on the other end there is this guy who runs hell … that mean looking red fella with two horns and an arrow headed tail holding a menacing trident … he is a badass right? I mean this fella is the badass of all badasses … he is the devil and the king of hell. So what he likes? He likes badass people of course … the more badass you are the better and he invites all the badasses to turn hell into a crazy frenzy badass place … hence the saying … “it’s hell of a place”.

So, my simple reasoning is … (like I was told) if you are a good guy, you will go to heaven where all things are of good nature and where all your good peers are so you can live among them in the good ways that you always wanted right? 

Then the same must apply … if you are a badass and when you die, you go to hell and in hell, you will live in a freaky fiery world that fits badasses like you, where creating havoc is the norm and you will live among your badass peers. So really, you are just doing what all badasses are expected to do … then why should you get tortured?

I was told many times that I am a bad person by many people. They said because I don’t believe in the “good invisible guy” aka god, then I don’t have morals. Really, they said that in the exact words. And they told me I will go to hell and my soul will be tortured there. Well, if that is what they want to believe … let’s play along.

So when I die and if it is as per what I was told, then I will go to hell … but, I don’t think I will be tortured like many would like to believe … instead, I will be welcomed probably with a big party by the devil himself. And I will strive well in hell … you see, if I am as bad as they say I am … then hell is an environment where I will be at my best.

For those who wished that I will go to hell and if they really think that my soul to be tortured in hell … you guys have got it all wrong. Hell don’t torture badass like me … on the contrary, the devil likes badasses. Like I said earlier … he is the badass of all badasses.

As a matter of fact, I am already associated with him now … I have a small cheeky red little devil in diaper with two horns and an arrow headed tail holding a menacing trident tattooed on my chest … I call it the “devillet” ... my slang of a small cheeky devil. In all my social media correspondences, my sign-off emoticon is the purple two horns cheeky smiling creature and my favourite symbol is of course the devil hand sign. You see, I think I probably will be invited into the devil’s inner circle of badasses when I go to hell.

Really, if the devil wants to torture anyone in hell … it should be the good guys. That is why the good guys don’t want to end up in hell. And vice versa, the bad guys don’t want to go to heaven … so, if people believe that I should suffer and I should be punished for all the bad things they said I have done … then I should be in heaven.