Do you know of people who always have to say something? Errrr … what am I talking about here? You know, those who always think that they are better than the rest of the world? Those who always have to be in front, always think they have something better, always think that they know more … the type that will never take a back seat? If you still don’t know what I mean … let me elaborate a bit here.
A friend visited me a few weeks ago and he brought along a guy, a business associate of his. My friend was just passing through where I stay (USJ, Subang) and he thought he would take the opportunity to drop by for a visit.
So we were all sitting in my garden, having a casual talk and very quickly I can tell that my friend’s friend is what I called the “sikit atas” (a little above) kind of people … the type who may have a little bit more and thinks that he is a class above. I am sure you know what I am talking about. And he likes to talk big … about his businesses, investments and properties he owned … kind of show off a bit.
After a while, the conversation centered upon the houses in my neighborhood and then he made a comment (on my house) ... “this house is not very big … mine is double in size and my car porch can park 3 cars”. I don’t know what he was trying to tell me … but I can clearly see what a snob he is.
I looked at him … struggled to put up a smile (I must admit … not very genuinely) and I told myself … “I am not going to like this”. Before I could say anything further, he continued with his “valuation” of my house … went on to say that the value of the houses around my neighborhood is not very high because it is an old residential housing area. It is also not safe as it is not a gated community and his most acerbic comment was … “it is not wise to invest here”.
Whoa !!! In my mind I was like … “f**k you, you arrogant show-off snob” … a little bit more from him would have pushed me over the threshold of my tolerance. I don’t know what I would have done but I am sure it would not be anything nice.
This guy always has to say something … like he knows everything. From local politics to world disasters, from whiskies to cars, from houses to pets and from gardening to cooking … he knows all and he knows better than anyone. If you suggest a place for food, he will know of a better place … if you tell him your mechanic is good, he will say his can tell the problem of the car just by smelling the exhaust fumes … if you tell him about a good doctor, he will probably tell you that he know someone who can raise the dead and even if you fart, he will want to fart louder than you. Whatever you say or suggest, he will say he has or he knows something better. Well, if I am not an atheist, I would have thought he is god.
Anyway, my friend must have sensed my discomfort … he quickly cut in to say that it is time to make a move. Honestly, I was in no mood to listen to the big-headed snob anymore … I was relieved that I didn’t have to drag him out of my house.
Some people just have to say something … they think that makes them clever. Well, let me tell them this … wise men, they always have something to say … fools, they always have to say something.
That evening my friend called me … knowing that I am not at all happy with his friend’s attitude, my friend told me that he too felt bad about the whole episode. We joked and laughed about it and I told him I am going to write about this in my blog and maybe he should ask his friend to read this.
Look, my house is not big, it is not expensive, it is not in a new posh neighborhood, it doesn’t have 24-hour security service, it doesn’t have a car porch for 3 cars … as small, as cheap and as bad as it may be, it is my home. I would be very glad if people know how to extend a bit of courtesy and show a bit of sensitivity to those who have less.
When I was very young, my mother taught me this … when you go to other people’s house for dinner, do not say anything about the food that you may not like but always remember to say good things about those food that you like. On the same principle, whenever I go to others’ houses … I will always find something good about the house to comment, like … “good purchase”, “a very convenient place”, “good layout”, “peaceful neighborhood”, “reasonable price” and stuffs like that … however small or cheap or bad the house may be … a little bit politeness and a little bit of respect goes a long way.
Well Chief you remember when I used to live in a 10K sq ft with a 3K built up. It had state of the art equipment with the latest urban living fittings within it. Furniture and stone statues from Bali, the most modern kitchen with the latest utensils (which was hardly used) and the land was covered with pearl grass. It was just for a show piece and the only satisfaction one would get from it is the 10 sec of "uhhh..ahhhh's". But the house did not have any warmth. There were no children to run around and roll on that big land. the house was quiet most of the time and you can literally hear a pin drop.
ReplyDeleteNow I live in a duplex apartment, which we are running out of space with my little boy around and with another one in tow I'd probably have to sleep in the kitchen..hahaha. The kids don't have space to run and roll around but it's o.k. I take my boy now to the public playground where he meets and interacts with different kinds of kids and has a time of his life. The house is always full of laughter and noise from my silliness, clumsiness and my little boy's havocness. There is much warmth and love now compered to before. The smell of food is always lingering in our small little tight kitchen where most of our stuff are either hand-me-downs from alor star of from bargain items..but most importantly like you said, it's a home..and I'll be damn if some was to say anything "unpleasant" about it.
So let them atas-know-it all people be, as its good to have those people around to remind some of us that are not smart enough to appreciate the more simple and little things that life offers us.
P.S. I hope the dude reads my reply too.
Cheers
Raj
Raj ... I am so glad that you are now enjoying a much simpler and happier life with Jade and your son and another coming along soon ... you and I share a common belief ... the appreciation of a simple life.
ReplyDeleteWe can accept less and see through the material world ... my friend, not many can. So many are addicted to the chase for material gains ... so, they may have a big house but can't call it a home.
You make the right decision to walk away from your first commitment ... it was not the end but the beginning of something much much better ... I can see you are having a much meaningful life ... though less in the material possessions but a lot more satisfaction from a easy life, simple requirements, healthy living but more important … the real happiness that I see in you now … I am really happy for you and Jade … :)
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