Friends change or change friends?

>
When I left my last job, I wrote “Who Are Your Friends” because I am well aware that when I don’t possess the “connection” and “influence” in the corporate playing field, the many so called “pung yaus” (friends) and “hing tais”(brothers) will quickly disappear. Unfortunately that’s a sad reality. So many of these so called “friends” and “brothers” conveniently disappeared, some vanished mysteriously almost immediately … while a few (probably out of courtesy) continued to send me emails or an SMS or two with words like “stay in contact” or “keep in touch” for a while longer. Very soon, most of them too stopped corresponding.

True to the saying “lou yuen chi ma lik, yat kau keen yan sum” [meaning (in Cantonese) distance will test a horse’s strength and time will reveal a person’s heart], now I can clearly see only a few are worthy of a true friendship.

I have changed and because my status changed, my thinking changed, my lifestyle changed, my influence changed, my interest changed and my material value changed ... maybe people feel that I no longer possess anything worthy to be their so called "friends". Or maybe people just don’t understand or accept that friends change, so they change friends.

Only a handful who really meant it when they said “keep in touch”… really staying in contact, making an effort to catch up in between their busy schedules, genuinely concern and honestly keen to know about my well-being. Good to know they still value my friendship regardless the many changes in my life.

I am the old school type who values friendship strongly. I am lucky to have many good friends … some I knew not too long ago and some I knew for over 40 years (since 1969, from Standard One). At times we grew apart as we moved about to make a living and adjust our lives but we always kept in touch. We try to meet whenever possible. Along the way, we changed many things but we did not change friends. Whether old or new, good or bad, rain or shine, thick or thin … they still remain my friends and I remain as theirs. I value this friendship very much and I am sure they do the same.

My point is … do you understand and accept that friends change or do you just change friends?
gt;