Life is unfair … so, go save some “f**k off” money

My daughter came home from school rather sad and asked me … “Daddy, when my friend and I chatted in class, the class monitor reported us to the teacher and we were punished but when the class monitor did the same, it is OK … she (the class monitor) was not punished … why?” I asked her did anyone report it to the teacher … my daughter said no as they were all afraid of reprisal from the class monitor and worse, the class monitor is the teacher’s favorite.

So, what will you tell your daughter to do? Go seek justice … be brave … stand your ground? No, I told my daughter … “Life is unfair … there are times, in fact most of the time, we just have to swallow it and get on”. 

Almost two years ago I wrote an article titled “It is not fair!” (click to read) … in it, I said that the moment you were born, you were crying while everyone else is smiling … you know very well that life is not going to be fair.

Let me tell you something … an episode of my life not many people know about … maybe it is good to tell now and see what comments I will get. 

In my younger days, I worked as a marketing manager in the automobile industry and my boss was the Director of the Marketing Department. I was enjoying a great career with a well known international company but after a year and a half, things started to change. My boss employed a woman (who was from the agency handling our PR campaigns) to take up a newly created marketing position in the department. Very soon favoritism towards the woman was obvious … to the dissatisfaction of many in the department. Really, it was very obvious that there was something going on between my boss and the woman.

Because it directly affects me, I decided to seek clarification … had a talk with my boss and told him that he is bias towards the woman in many ways at work and I think there is something going on between him and her. This was what he told me … his exact words “Shiek, you are just jealous that someone is doing a better job than you”. I can feel the resentment from my boss from that moment onwards. I was seeking fairness but got nothing. I struggled to carry on because I wanted to get to the bottom of things.

Very soon the “hanky panky” was an open secret, everyone was talking about it but no one dares to do anything. I then decide to escalate it … brought my dissatisfaction to the MD (my boss’s boss), a female expatriate. I thought I could get some sort of payback. And what did I get? Absolutely nothing ... the MD told me that if I am not happy, I have to sort it out directly with my boss.

Then I knew I can start counting my days in the company so I went to “sort it out” with my boss. Reluctantly he admits that he is sleeping with the woman but said it is personal and he is not at all biased during work. Oh really? Not bias? Believing that is as good as believing there is a genie in the magic lamp. Anyway, I already had my resignation letter typed out … was not in the mood to say much when I handed him my resignation but I am sure he gets the message loud and clear that I am f**king him off. 

 Maybe at that time, I have enough of what I called “f**k off” money … so I can f**k someone off without financial worries. YES, I redeemed a bit of pride, a bit of consolation but no matter what, I was at the losing end and that ended my career in the automobile industry.

I worked hard, played by the rules and all I wanted was a fair deal … I thought I can get a bit of justice but I was so wrong .

So what did I learn? I was David trying to fight Goliath … I so wanted it to be like the David versus Goliath from ancient writings, the one time in the biblical era where David won. But really, you can’t fight Goliath and you don’t want to fight Goliath. In the real world … almost every time in those cases in the likes of David versus Goliath, David lost.

Of course people want to seek fairness when they are being bullied, when they lost out to favoritism and when they suffered at the hands of those with power and influence. But the sad reality is … many just can’t do anything because they have no financial foothold, they needed the monthly salary so they have no choice but to keep quiet and tolerate the unfair, prejudiced and biased situation. 

Look, life is unfair … sometimes you just have to swallow it and tell yourself it is OK to walk away with a bruised ego. But if you want a bit of consolation, go save enough “f**k off” money … at least with that you get to fire a last shot to show some pride and get some satisfaction.

Are you making a good living by what you get?

In my previous articles, I have said that (for me) a person’s value is not measured by material units … in other words, it is not measured by how much or what he has got. I got a few people asking me … “Shiek, then how do people show that they have succeeded and how do they value themselves?”

OK, let me say this … people try their very best to seek financial success and when they achieve it, of course they want to show others that they have made it. They may seek prominence and they may indulge in better and finer things in life. It is their hard earned money and they can spend it anyway they want, on whatever they like. If that is how they want to show who they are, where they belong and what they have achieved … so be it … there is nothing wrong with that.

So, it is NONE OF MY BUSINESS how people show their successes and how they value themselves. It is also NONE OF MY BUSINESS if they want to measure their successes and values by what they have got (materially). 

I am just saying I personally don’t measure a person’s value by what he has got and I definitely don’t measure my own value by what I have got … anyway, I don’t really have a lot to shout about.

I have seen many very successful people and I personally know quite a few such people who have shown me their big houses, luxury cars and other expensive stuffs. I have seen how they live their luxury lifestyle and how they enjoy their time and wealth. They have every right to tell the world that they have made a good living by what they got.

Then again, I have also seen many other very successful people and I too personally know quite a few such people who have also shown me their big houses, luxury cars and other expensive stuffs BUT they have also shown me their dedication and commitment of time and resources to set up charity centers offering free meals to the poor and homeless, builds schools and houses for the unfortunates and arrange medical services and medicine for the poor and needy. The world may not know about such dedication and commitment but these people have made a good life by what they gave.

I want to ask … “Are you making a good living by what you get?  Really, many are just so engrossed in making a good living by what they can get, they forgot about making a good life by what they can give.

This gives me a reason to stress my point again … I don’t measure a person’s value by what he has got … I measure a person’s value by what he can give.