What do I leave for my children?

In many conversations with close family members, relatives and among friends … there were numerous times that people asked me … eh, what do you want to leave for your children?

I think this is a very common question … especially for Asians and particularly for the Chinese.

Traditionally, Chinese are very concerned about what they can leave for their children. I can say that a lot of hard working Chinese parents would like to make sure that their children would not have to work so hard like they did … so, if they can, they will want to leave a fortune for their children.

In the younger days … we were told 孩子多努力一点, 父母就会好一点 (haizi duo nuli yidian, fumu jiu hui hao yidian) ... and that was on my mind when I was old enough to work.

Like me, many worked hard to help ease the financial burdens of our parents … help put food on the table, roof over the head and make sure that the needs of our younger siblings are taken care of.

But today it is more like 父母多留一点, 孩子就会好一点 (fumu duoliu yidian, haizi jiu hui hao yidian) … really, I believe many parents (though they may not admit it) do feel that it will be better for their children if they can leave some wealth for their children.

Now back to the question … how about me and what do I want to leave for my children?

OK, let me put it like this … I don’t have a lot … for now I still have some properties, some savings and small investments. By law, whatever I still have left (IF there is anything left) when I leave this world … they will go to my children.

NEVER have I ever thought of what I am going to leave for my children. I give them what they need to help them as they grow, as they progress and as they move into their own independent world.

It has NEVER crossed my mind what I am going to leave for my children.

The question that is ALWAYS on my mind is … what children will I leave for this society and this world? That, is what I am really concerned about.

There is a Chinese saying that goes like this :-

不要问你会留下什么给你的孩子 … 问你会留下什么孩子给这个社会和这个世界

Translation : Ask not what you will leave for your children ... ask what children you will leave for society and the world.

OLDER ... BUT ARE YOU WISER?

I am sure you must have heard of the phrase “older but wiser” and it is generally accepted that when one grows older, one will be wiser.

Really? Older will be wiser?

Well, it is true only if one keeps learning.

You see … many people think that when they have lived more than half a century, they have been through a lot ... they want to believe that they have already know more than enough. There is nothing that they don’t know.

They like to think they know everything under the sky … the so called  “Mr Know It All”. They don’t like to say … “I don’t know”. So, they are constantly moving only in the range of things they know and that they are comfortable in … repeating over and over again. Well, they will grow older … but wiser?

Look, if you are not willing to venture into new things or reluctant to accept new ways of doing things or not wanting to expand your thinking … you are just simply repeating what you are already doing, day in and day out … then you are not learning. 

Maybe you may want to be old school … but don’t be old fashioned.

As we grow older and with the luxury of time … keep learning, experiencing and exploring new areas, new ideas and new ways of life … that is how we become wiser.

There are plenty to learn … with the convenience of the internet, online platforms and other communication channels … it is so much easier to learn new things.

It can be as simple as learning a new language, music, art or just try a new recipe. A new sport or a new recreational activity or a social activity like dancing and singing. Or it can be as mysterious as researching on alien, sasquatch and yeti … try studying the history of the world or if you want some mind boggling stuffs, learn the fascinating science of string theory and relativity. Maybe even venture a bit further into the never ending space of black holes, worm holes, stars and universes.

Books, Google, Youtube, Quora, Wikipedia, apps, programs and there are also groups, societies, forums and other similar platforms that provide plenty of opportunities to learn … we just have to set our minds to it.

And learn from the younger generations ... they know more thank you think. Don't put on the "I eat salt more than you eat rice" attitude when talking to young adults. You will be surprised how much they know and how much you can learn from them.

It is OK to say “I don’t know” … there is an immense power in the state of “I don’t know” … because if you don’t know, you will ask … when you ask, you will learn.

In Chinese … 学问 (xuéwèn) means knowledge … if you separate the two characters … 学 (xué) means learn and 问 (wèn) means ask. 

So … 要学就要问 (yào xué jiù yào wèn) ... meaning if you want to  learn, you have to ask.

 

 

I CAN'T SING ... DOESN'T MEAN I WON'T SING

In many of my posts on my blog or comments on social media, I have said many times … I do what I like to do. I might not be able to do them well … at times I even make a fool out of myself and many times people laugh at what I do.

But that is OK ... I am doing what I like and it makes me feel good … I am not at all concerned if people want to laugh at me.

Those close to me will know that I like to sing … but I can’t sing. So, just croak lah 🐸🎤. To me singing is an expression … using the words of songs to maybe express past moments of my life or to express stories and experiences that may have touched my 60 years of life. I like doing that … a lot !

The point here is … be yourself … do what you like and feel good about.

Maybe you are a CEO of a huge MNC or a hotshot female lawyer or a big boss … try taking off that mask and be who you really are. A father or mother, a son or daughter, a husband or wife, a brother or sister … more importantly be yourself.

It need not be a photo of you holidaying on a yacht at Santorini Island … it could be just a photo of you and your spouse buying fish at the wet market. Well, you might say … wey, buy fish at the wet market also want to take photo meh? OK OK, it is just an example ya … you know what I am trying to say.

Not too long ago someone told be … aiyo why so stupid lah still drives an old car. Buy a new X70 lah … enjoy yourself, feel good.

Feel good with a new car ? NOPE.

Now, if I drive an old used car and keep some savings in the bank … I will feel very good. If I use the savings to buy a new car … I will LOOK very good.

You see, for me … 幸福是一种感觉,不是一个外表 … meaning happiness is about how you feel … not what people see.

I do what I feel good about … that is enough. But people may not be able to see it … some may even think that I am stupid, a fool and laugh at me.

That’s OK … I have said it before and I will say it again … I don’t have to walk like I own the world … I walk like I don’t care who owns the world.