I must admit that I am an oddball with remnants of some “hainan
wind” (craziness) inherited from my ancestors … short fused at times, stubborn,
sarcastic with an acerbic tongue and very direct … I don’t mince my words, I say
it like it is. I won’t deny it … I have weaknesses.
So, many people don’t like me and that is why I don’t have a
lot of friends … at times I have to dwell alone. That is OK … yes I am alone
but I am not lonely.
It is absolutely alright if people don’t like me … I don’t live
on their likings. They choose to only harp on my weaknesses and complained that I will drag them down. Well, I cannot do anything if they want to
put it that way. And some want to talk behind my back … if that is what they like to do,
that is where they will always be … behind me. I don’t give a fuck anyway.
But then again there are people who will tolerate me … why? Because
I also have my strengths … they tap on my strengths but they are also willing to
tolerate my weaknesses … I call it good bonding. We know how to “tango” with
each other to any tunes, be it good or bad. These are the
people that are willing embrace all of me but there are only a few.
I can say that I have done quite a bit over the years to
keep the rapport active, to get people close and to build the bond of togetherness but was not appreciated, instead people took it for granted. I will stop … there is some truth in
the saying … “people don’t notice the things you do for them until you stop
doing them”.
So now, I wake up every day to make myself happy, to make my
loved ones happy and I stay with those who accept me lock, stock and barrel. For the
rest of the people … I don’t give a fuck! Why? It is not that I don’t care …
they don’t.
I don’t care about losing people who don’t want to be in my
life anymore, I have lost people who meant the world to me and I am doing just
fine.
So, as you can see, I have learned something … some call it a
mindset, others call it a type of thinking ... I call it an art … an art of not
giving a fuck!
