ENOUGH

By the end of this week, I would have retired exactly ten years. Time flies ... well, to me yes, time went by but it did not pass by idly ... I enjoyed every moment of the last ten years. When I first told people that I am retiring ten years ago at the age of 46, almost everyone think that something must have happened.

So what happened? I will get to that.

You see ... in most people minds, when you retire at the age of 46, you must be loaded. If not, how can you live comfortably for the rest of your life? What about your two growing children? What about your mortgages? Car loans? Education for the kids? Insurance? And so on and so forth. The general thinking of the mass is ... you must be rich before you retire.

So there were a lot of guesses, questions and comments ... some laughable, others were quite sarcastic and a few were genuine concerns.

Someone actually said I won the lottery ... really funny, I used to tell people that but it came back to me. There were stories ... one was I invested hundreds of thousands to start a fish spa chain with a friend and the other was I got a big retainer in an advertising business. Not sure how the stories started but yes I do know a lady who started a fish spa and yes, I have two good friends who were running an advertising business then. But no, I have no businesses with any of them.

There were concerns ... was it something to do with my health? My friends were actually worried. But no, I wasn’t sick ... though my liver was not at its best during that time. You see, my last job was in wine and spirits industry ... so my liver was pickled by whiskies and brandies for a good few years. The doctor did say that the GGT was on the high side but it was not life threatening yet. So no, I did not retire because of my health but it was good that I stopped hard drinking when I stopped working.

Then some sarcastically asked ... what are you going to do when you retire so young. Stay at home waiting to die ah?

Well, what did I do since I retired? Let me tell you ... in the last ten years, I have trekked into jungles and mountains for more than 300 times ... some long and some short treks and I enjoyed every one of them. And if I counted it correctly ... I have read 36 books ... some thick, some thin, some fictions and some historical facts. Apart from that, I learned and played over 100 songs on my erhu.

I have traveled quite a bit ... both within the region as well as further to the east. More importantly, I spent a lot of time with my kids and watched them grew up to be young adults. And last but not least, I can say that I spent almost every day with my wife ... doing many things together and keeping each other company.

Now, does that sounds like someone who is waiting to die?

So back to the question ... why did I retire at 46? Ok, just one word  ... ENOUGH. I have enough of a few things.

First ... I have enough financially. While many people think that one must be rich to retire ... I think differently. It was always on my mind since I started working that I will retire when I have enough.

The question is ... what is enough? There is no quantitative measurement here ... you cannot measure "enough" quantitatively. Some say a million is enough, others say five and there will be people who will say the more the better.

Since I started working, I have struggled to pay off the mortgages, loans, saved some money and invested a little. Nothing to shout about really ... I think any hard working 46 years old can do this and can do better. At that time, I think I have enough. I decided that I am not going to buy a bigger house and I am not going to buy a new car ... instead I have to downgrade to a cheaper car. I cannot afford high insurance premiums so I have to challenge myself to be healthy staying away from the clinics and hospitals. I will have to budget for everything ... from simple household expenses to utility bills to holiday trips to kid’s education. Everything will have to be budgeted carefully ... because for me, enough means I don’t need anything more and I don’t have anything more.

Second ... I have enough of the corporate bullshit. Yes, most of what I have came from the corporate world ... but it did not come easy. I don’t know what others think ... I think the corporate world is not so glamourous really. On a good day (yes, a good day) ... one will have to deal with the endless reports, meetings, budgets, deadlines and overtime. On a bad day ... there will be the frequent blame storming, bickering, backstabbing, names calling, finger pointing and table banging sessions.

And at the worst ... favouritism, cronyism, nepotism, authorism, affairs and bullying.

Yes, all that ... to survive, I have to learn to be able to do all that. In the corporate days, I was not your everyday “lovable Mr. Able”. Really, I did my share of bullshit as well. Every day I woke up and put on my “bullshit mask” and go to work ... so much so that after putting it on for so many years ... many times when I got home and removed the mask, I couldn’t recognize the person standing front of the mirror.

And last ... I have enough of a particular person. In the last several months of my last job, I had a new marketing director. I have worked with many department heads before but this guy is a real asshole ... actually the asshole of all assholes. The very moment he joined the company, he wanted to change things ... of course I understand that a new boss would want to do things differently but not at my expense. You see, many times when I don’t agree to what he is doing ... he will find ways to make my life difficult. If I don’t use the contractors or suppliers or the people that he recommended ... he starts finding faults with me even with petty little things. That happened too many times to be counted.

And then the bullying starts ... slowly I was sidelined ... I know it was not going to be a good ending. It came to a boiling point at an event in a popular joint in town ... we were having a joint event with our sponsors. At the event, he belittled me in front of the few VIPs ... he did it on purpose to prove his authority. That was the last straw.

And so I told him that we go outside and settle it and indeed it was "settled". I would like to blame it on the few drinks that I had but no, I was not drunk ... I was very clear, since he did not give me any face ... I wasn’t going to give him any too. My late father always told me not to get into physical fights ... it is better to walk away with a bruised ego and many times I did just that. But this time no ... this time I have had enough, this time it had to be settled with bruises and blue blacks. And the next morning I handed in my resignation letter.

Many people asked me why I did not take my grouses up to the MD or CEO ... oh come on, I am a senior manager ... I am not going like a cry baby to the MD or CEO. And in the corporate world, you don’t go against your superior ... don’t even think about trying to do a David versus Goliath ... no, that won’t happen. In the corporate world ... David will always lose!!!

If you are not good enough in playing “company politics” you will lose out ... so, it is either you tolerate the situation or you walk away. I chose to walk away ... maybe from many people’s point of view, it should not have turned out like this but for me, there is no other better way.

So now you know ... why I retired at 46.