What is coming ?

In the next few days, it will be a new year … so, what is coming ?

To many people, in the new year, there will be much to look forward to … new things, new ideas, new places, new faces, new challenges and maybe new beginnings.

Whatever it is … let it be good for all.

As for me … the new year will more or less of what I have been doing this year and several years before that. I guess there won’t be much … kind of boring isn’t it?

Why so boring? No resolutions? No dreams? No plans? What about travel … nothing on the bucket list?

Hmmmm … let me think.

Resolutions? No, I don’t have new year’s resolutions … quit this, stop that, learn this or lose that. But I am always unlearning and relearning … because many of the things I learned before may not be applicable now. Though I am an old school person and I still hold on to some old school ways of doing things but certain things must change. What I used to know to be true may not be true anymore and this can adversely affect my ability to apply judgements on related matter. So, day in and day out, progressively, I am unlearning and relearning.

And maybe I am also teaching … well, not teaching like a professional but what I have unlearned and relearned ... I will talk about it, I will pass it on, I will share it and I will write about it … that, I think is a form of teaching.

Dreams? I have said it before, I no longer have dreams. Dreams are not for me now … dreams if it is big enough, it will take a long time to realised … some may even take a lifetime to achieve. For me … if I dream, it will have to be big enough to scare me … so, by the time I achieve my dream, I will probably be dead.

I don’t have the time to chase for dreams ... so I look for smaller and easier things to do … just do things that come by, do whatever that is in front of me and then move on to the next task. And instead of spending time dreaming … I rather spend my time seeking memories, looking for familiars faces, places, tastes and sentiments … embarking on nostalgic thoughts and moments.

Travel? Nope, no big plans for travelling. My only plan for travel is to China again … it is due to my long interest of the ancient history of China. Other than that, maybe a couple of family holiday trips in the region.

You see, I cannot afford to travel like others … going to exotic places for sightseeing and holidays. I have limited budget for my travel and it will be for budgeted travels related to my interest in ancient world history and civilisations … hence, my earlier trips to Eqypt, Greece, India, China and some other places of interest.

Bucket list? I have no a bucket list … there is nothing that I think I must do before I die. Errrrrr … maybe that’s not true … I would like to see my children get married and have their own children before I die. But you don’t consider that in your bucket list, right?

Look, I like to trek … I think I have trekked long enough to be called a trekker. Like all trekkers … I love the Himalayas. Many trekkers put the Himalayas on their bucket list, a place they must go and many went. But not for me and I think my chances of trekking the Himalayas is like next to winning a lottery. And that is ok … that does not make me any less passionate in trekking that any other who have trekked the ABC, EBC or other Himalaya trails.

There is no delicacies that I must eat, no adventures I must try, no places I must go, no people I must meet before I die … I don’t look too far ahead, just do whatever comes by and take things simple and easy.

Eh? … maybe there is one thing I must do before I die … try to stay alive !!!

So, just like the past several years … there are no big things for me in the coming year and that is good. I am not looking forward to big things … big things are complicated things. I am not looking forward to too many things either … too many things, it will get complicated too. Someone once said I am a lazy fella … give me complicated tasks and I will think of the most simple and easy way to do it. I am fine if people want to put it that way.

Let me quote again ... “I am at my best in my simplest form” ... really, life is full of simple pleasures … apa susah susah ?

Enjoy the things you already have

I told people that I don’t need more … well, maybe I am not being honest. Let’s not fool each other … I don’t mind if someone wants to give me more. Sometimes I will bet on lottery … it will be a bonus if I win some extra money ... hey, who don’t want some extra cash, right?

What I meant was … I am absolute OK even if I don’t get anything more.

Every day I wake up and look around me … at the things that I already have. I am a very fortunate person … I have a wife who supported me through thick and thin for more than 20 years now, I have two active teenagers who keeps the house noisily alive and I have a comfortable home where we stay bonded together with respects and privacy.

I have some small investments and savings that generate enough passive income to cater for our budgeted spending. I have a bunch of good friends whom I have known for more than 40 years and I still have a capable body and mind that enables me to live an active healthy life. More importantly, I have all the time in the world to enjoy what I already have.

Many people have the things I have ... some even more but many don’t see and appreciate the things that they already have … they set their minds on getting things that they don’t have … well, there is nothing wrong in doing that.

For me … there are many things I don’t have. That is OK … I won’t let it affect me. I am not losing sleep over it … at this point of my life, I won’t be able to get it anyway.

My point is (and you don’t have to agree with me) … if you are able to live with what that is already with you … you will see that happiness is not about getting the things you want … happiness is about enjoying the things you already have.

Well, it DID !!!

This month is not good month … things were not going my way right from the beginning of the month. Many times, I have seen or heard of unfortunate incidents and I will say to myself … it will not happen to me. It is kind of like a self-consolation type of confidence that I think I am always the lucky one because I have not really experienced anything really really bad in my 56 years of life … up until last month, that is.

At the start of the October, I was told that my sister was diagnosed of thyroid cancer … quite late at the third stage. The news troubled me deeply … my dear sister whom I thought was healthily enjoying her life with her latest granddaughter is now very sick.

She went in and out of the hospital cancer ward for tests and scans … then the doctor told her that she will have to be treated by chemotherapy. There were concerns and worries but she made her decision and went for her first chemo. We all know how this treatment affects the human body … the side effects are terrible. I can see that she suffered a lot but it was her decision to go for chemotherapy. Just a couple of days ago, she went for her second chemo treatment and there will be six more to go. All we can do now is let the good doctors do the necessary and hope that she will recover soon.

My dear sister recovering from treatment

You see … before this, I have seen many people around me … friends, relatives, colleagues, neighbours … suffering from various type of cancers and every time I hear a story like this, I will always tell myself … I am one of the lucky ones … it will not happen to me or my loved ones.

But I was wrong … it DID !!!

Next comes another bad incident in the mid of the month. You see, I have an apartment rented out to a couple which they shared with another two tenants … have been rented to them for almost 6 years and all the while everything was well. I like this couple … the monthly rental was paid on time and the relation between landlord and tenant was very good. So much so that in the last six years … I have only increased the rental once and it was less than ten percent.

Everything went well until mid of October … in September, the wife told me that she “balik kampung” for a few weeks and will pay me when she comes back early October and I believed her. But up until mid of October, I did not hear from her and so I started calling. The line was cancelled.

I checked with the other two tenants staying at the house and both of them do not know where the couple is. They said that they were just sub-renting a room from the couple and they will be leaving by the end of the month since the couple have disappeared.

Now what I am sorry about is not so much of the rental not collected for two months (I collected some security deposits as per the rental agreement) … what I am sorry about is that I thought I can trust them after six years of landlord and tenant relationship … I thought they can be trusted and if they want to leave, at the very least, inform me. But it was not to be.

So, by the end of this month, I will be left with an empty apartment that needs to be cleaned, repaired, re-furbished and re-painted … there goes a few months of my pocket money.

Anyone want to rent an apartment in Sunway?

Then on the 23^rd of this month (just two days ago) … at about 7am while I was still sleeping in a cool rainy morning … my wife jerked me up and said … “your car GONE !!!”. I said …”WHAT ?” She replied quite loudly … “YOUR CAR IS GONE ... it is not parked where it was yesterday”

I quickly went downstairs … walked out to the garden and looked at where I usually parked my car … really, it was GONE !!! Stolen very obviously … then I took my wife’s car and foolishly drove around the neighbourhood hoping to find it. I know I will not find it but that was my first reaction … I thought that was the very least I can do. Anyway, after about ten minutes, I know it was a fruitless attempt and so I decided to go make a police report.

My faithful car ... STOLEN !!!

And that was when all the hassles start. Making a police report in Malaysia is quite easy actually … you go to the nearest police station and tell your story at the reporting desk and very quickly the officer in charge will type out the report … print a copy for you … you read it and then you sign it if everything is according to what you have just told the officer. Simple right?

No … that is just the first step! Next you have to be “interviewed” by the IO (that’s what I was told … I guessed it stands for Investigating Officer) who normally will be one of the Sergeants on duty at that time. Now, the Sergeant on duty is not always in the police station … for my case it was right at the time when they change shift. So, the earlier Sergeant has finished the shift and left … the next taking over has not arrived yet … yes, there were no IO dealing with my case at the time when I made my report.

So what to do? Wait lorrr … I was told the IO will be coming in soon … waited for about an hour but no one came. Then the officer at the front desk made a call … after that he told me that I need to come back later as the IO was “on site” dealing with another case. He could have told me earlier so I don’t have to sit in the police station for more than an hour.

Anyway … I was told to come back about two hours later and I did. Despite all the hassles earlier … I was glad that the IO turned out to be a sweet young lady … a Sarjan Haswani from “Unit Penjenayah” (Crime Unit) ... she was very kind and helpful … asking me all the relevant questions and telling me what the police will do and what I should do. The so called “interview” went on for about 45 minutes and I was told take a copy of the report to another officer to be “stamped” as a certified true copy. Only with this I can make my insurance claim and other reports and cancellations related to the stolen car.

So I went to get the police report “stamped” and you know what? The officer at that counter went out for tea ! YES, there were no one manning that counter … I think this only happens in Malaysia … where a counter in a police station is open but there is no one there … went out for tea apparently.

Now … if not because of the earlier sweet Sergeant … I would have complained but I decided to go and have a drink myself and make some calls. Later I finally got the “official certified true copy” of the report.

I don’t want to tell you about the hassles, the long wait, the forms, the documents that were needed for insurance claim and other related reports and cancellations … that will not make you feel good about the systems, procedures and processes of the various parties that you have to go through if your car is stolen.

Again … I have never in my life thought that my car will be stolen. I have seen and heard of many stolen car stories and I will always think that it will not happen to me.

Now, my point here is … never say that things will not happen to you. As positive as we want to face the challenges in life but really, life can just change in a moment. We think we are healthy and strong but a tiny virus can bring hell … we think we are active and mobile but a slip can put a stop to all that and we think we may be the fortunate ones but life can throw a curve at you anytime.

I used to say … “it will not happen to me” … well, it DID !!!

I am not a great person

Let me tell you this … I am not a great person. I am 56 years old and until now I have not done anything great … really, nothing worthwhile, nothing big, nothing heroic, nothing illustrious, nothing impressive … nothing that is worthy enough to be called great. 

As a school boy … I was never the clever type. My parents had hoped that I can achieve something in school but I did not. The best I did was getting a Grade II for my MCE exams. I was mischievous at times but generally I behaved well in my schooling days.

Throughout the years, my academics were just slightly above average … nothing to shout about but I was quite active in other activities. I was a scout for a few years, actively involved in various school societies, participated in a few sports and was quite popular among my schoolmates. I was never going to achieve anything great in school … I was just an ordinary good school boy.

My parents had hoped that their son can achieve academic excellence but I let them down. I know they were disappointed but I think they knew that I am not the studious type. For the lack of paper qualifications … I have to make it up with good hard work.

So, after secondary school, I went straight to work … I never have any great thoughts of what I want to be. I don’t have any ambitions … all I have was an objective … to work and earn money so I can help put food on the table. While others in my age group have ambitions of becoming a doctor or a pilot or an engineer … I looked for all sorts of opportunities to earn a living.

And very soon I was doing good … good enough to start contributing to the family. The family financial situation improved and both my dad and mom were able to retire as planned and live a fairly good life in their later years. My parents may not have a great son but I know they were quite happy with a good son.

Over the years, I dabbled in many things … I was an electrician, a draughtman, a photographer, a graphic artist, a direct salesman, a small design agency owner, a café owner, a coffee shop partner before getting a job starting as a manager in the corporate world. I did not do anything significant or momentous in in my working life … while some of my peers climbed high up the corporate ladder and others established successful businesses, agencies and companies … my last job was a senior manager struggling in middle of things trying to make it good in the corporate world.

I did not do anything “big” but I think I did quite good in my working years … good enough to help put food on the table, good enough to start my own family, good enough to raise two kids and good enough to retire and enjoy my life comfortably.

I am married for 24 years and blessed with two kids. When I was thinking of getting married, I did not make any elaborate proposal … come to think about it, I can’t even remember how we end up deciding to get married but I am glad we did. In the last 24 years I did not do anything great as a husband … nope, nothing romantic or specially touching … nor did I do anything stupidly cute. I am just a straight forward husband … a very ordinary husband and I do what I think a husband should do.

I am the provider, the caregiver, the trouble shooter, the bodyguard, the protector, the joker, the driver, the gardener, the messenger, the car washer, the book keeper, the pet carer, the financial controller, the handyman all rolled into one … at times I cook, I mop, I sew, I launder, I iron and when I feel like it, I bake.

You know what? Over the years, I became quite good at doing all those things. So you see … I am not a great husband and have not done anything great but I think I did a lot of good things … at least good enough for my wife.

And as a father of two … again I don’t think I have done anything great as a father … unless you take into consideration the providing of two great swimmers that end up being first among the millions to kick start the fertilization that resulted in two beautiful babies. Nope ... I don’t think that is a great thing … so really, I am not a great father. Like my father … I am just a normal dad providing whatever that is required for his kids to grow up happily, healthily and to ensure that there will be enough resources to provide them with proper schooling and good education.

I am not a clever father … I don’t have the proper qualifications to guide them to academic success … they will have to struggle to achieve it themselves. I can only teach them from what I have experienced. So really, I have not done anything great for my kids but I hope whatever I can provide will do a bit of good for them in their growing years.

I know a lot of people but I don’t have many friends. Why? Simply because I am not a great friend. You see, I am a strange fella … I am very direct and I don’t mince my words. I tell you like it is … no more and no less. That is the problem … people don't like it and that is why I don’t have a lot of friends. How can you be a great friend if you don’t have a lot of friends … right?

But I am ok with it … even though there is only a few that can take me for what I am and I can take them for what they are … that is enough … I am glad and happy with them. Why? Because they are what I called good friends. Really at my age … I don’t need a lot of friends … just the good ones.

So you can see … I am not a great person and I have not done anything great. Well … no problem at all, I can live with that. I may not have done great things but I think I have done a lot of good things. Many years ago, a learned man told me … if you cannot do great things maybe you can try to do a lot of good things.

The "orange jam" story

We were shopping at a hypermarket and my daughter was looking at some jams … she asked me … “what jam do you want Daddy?”

I told her I want orange marmalade and as she was looking for it, she asked again … “Daddy, why you like orange marmalade? I told her there is a story behind it. “What story, what so special about it?” … I heard her asking as she was walking away to another aisle. I did not have the chance to tell her the story then and she wasn’t interested anyway.

Now, I would like to tell the story here.

When I was a primary school kid, every school day morning my mom would make breakfast for me … a hot cup of BOH tea with condense milk, two pieces of bread spread with margarine and then on top of the margarine she will sprinkle some sugar.

Then I would take the bread and cover the cup of tea … the steam from the hot tea will melt the margarine … melted margarine with sugar taste so much better. Alternately we will have Marie biscuits or cream crackers every now and then. That was what we can afford.

After getting me to school my mom will go to work. She was a housemaid for a British expatriate in a bungalow somewhere near Section 16, Petaling Jaya. She works from 8am till late in the evening. My mom told me (many years later) that her "gwai low" boss was employed by Dumex … I am sure many will remember the factory near the roundabout in Section 16.

When I was 9 years old … during a school holiday, my mom took me to her work place … that was the first time I went inside a bungalow. It was a huge place … while she was working, I was told to hang around at the back of the bungalow near the servant’s quarter … yes, the bungalow was that big. There was a small building at the back with two rooms where the servants can rest. She left me playing on my own foraging into a small forest looking for birds and spiders just behind the bungalow.

A while later my mom came looking for me … in her hands were a small container, a glass of milk and bread. She took me to the servant’s quarter and then spread what I saw was some jelly like stuffs on the bread. I asked her what it is … she said … “orange jam”. And then she let me have the bread. It was delicious … the first time I tasted “orange jam” … or any jam for that matter. I really like it … so different from what I used to eat every day.

Then I asked her if she can make it at home and she told me she did not make it … her boss bought it and it is expensive … she “stole” a bit for me.

My mom watched as I was enjoying the delicious bread spread with “orange jam” … there was something in her expression … a type of feeling that I did not know it then but I know it later. It was a feeling of happiness, bliss and a sense of joy knowing that her son is happy.

Not long later I get to taste “orange jam” again … this time it was at home and it was in a glass bottle and I could read the label on the bottle … it says “orange marmalade”. It was the same “orange jam” that my mom gave me at her work place. She knew I like the jam and she bought it. I was too young to know how much she paid for it but it was something expensive. She bought it just because I like it.

And not just that … you see, my mom did not eat the orange marmalade. I asked her why … she said she doesn’t like it. Strange … such delicious condiment and she doesn’t like it. I did not think much about that but later I realized that it was not because she doesn’t like orange marmalade … it was because I like it and she let me have all of it.

And I remember from there onwards … there was always a bottle of marmalade at home. 

Even years later … in my 20s, when I was on my own … when I got married and have my own kids … every time I go visit my mom … in the fridge, there will always be a bottle of orange marmalade. And same as before, she won’t touch it … it was there just for me when I go see her. Every time I will make it a point to eat the orange marmalade … if not with bread, I will just take a few spoonsful of it. She will watch me and you can see the expression on her face again … the same feeling she had when she first brought me the “orange jam” when I was a child … the very same happiness, bliss and the sense of joy showed on her face. 

You see, my mom is a very sentimental person … she remembers things … whether sad or happy. She held nostalgia close to her heart. Let me move away from this “orange jam” story and tell you another story … I will come back to it in a while. 

My mom was born in Beranang (few kilometers south of Semenyih) … the old house where she grew up in, is still there today … just off the main trunk road. I took her back to see the old house many times. 

Now … every time when she was there, she will reenact a sad incident that happened to her when she was young. Just after the war … due to poverty, my grandfather was forced to give away one of his children … he decided to give away the youngest daughter, the last child after my mom. And at the old house … my mom will reenact the moment how her sister was taken away.

She will walk about a hundred meters from the old house up a slope to the main trunk road … on the road, she will stand facing the side towards Mantin … then she will just wave her hand exactly like she waved to her sister while she (her sister) was taken away on a back of a bicycle many years ago … she will stand there waving for a few minutes oblivious to the cars passing by … she will wave as if until her sister disappears into the distance. And then she will walk back to the old house … her eyes were red. I can see how she was affected by the incident in her younger days.

Though a very sad incident … it did have a happy ending. Years later, my mom and her sister found each other in Malacca.

And back to the “orange jam” story … you see ... like my mother, I am also a very sentimental person. There were many incidents … good or bad, sad or happy, throughout my life that I hold close to me … these are valuable memories of someone or something very dear to me.

So why I love orange marmalade? Because every time I taste orange marmalade … it brings the memory of my mother, the expression and the feeling that she felt watching her son enjoying the “orange jam” and knowing how happy her son was. It brings a familiar feeling … I know the feeling and I like the feeling … the same feeling of happiness, bliss and joy of remembering my dear mother.

Yes, go ahead … be a millionaire

I received many comments on my writings … commenting about my simple lifestyle. There were questions asking me how I live a simple life and some said that they wish they could do the same. But there is this one lady from Singapore who sent me an email asking me how much money do I have … really, she asked quite specifically … one million? Two? Or three?
 

She seems to think that I must have a big fat account in the bank and she went on to say that if I have the money, why I am “mistreating” myself. I should be "living like a millionaire” … yes, those quoted are her exact words.

Well, I don’t know where she got the idea from but let me say this.

First … YES, I have money … I have savings and I have investments … I don’t deny that. How much money do I have? A million? Two? Three? I won't tell you but I have always said that I have enough.

Mistreating myself??? Hey, excuse me! I am not living like a pauper or living a minimalist life and I am definitely not living like Tarzan in the jungle. Actually, with the money I have … my family and I are living quite comfortably with all the necessities of a modern average family. My idea of living an easy and simple life is … living within my means. I do what I like and like what I do because I only like and do things that I can afford.

Live like a millionaire??? Let me ask … how does one live like a millionaire? I guess a millionaire must live in a big luxury house, drives high end expensive cars, splash on exotic holidays, owns designer’s bags and watches ... right?

So, can I live like millionaire? Yes I can … I can buy a bigger house, get an expensive luxury car, go on exotic holidays, wears designer’s accessories and send my kids overseas to study … yes, I can do all that but I chose not to … why?

Simply because I chose time over money. Now, strange as it may sound … I really do enjoy having more time than having more money.

If I want to live like a millionaire … I would probably have to continue working until I am 60 years old … maybe even longer. If I did not stop working ten years ago … I would have a lot more money now. I could have made another half a million dollar or a bit more. Would my life be better with half a million more? I don’t know and I will never be able to know … I cannot turn back the clock and have another go at it.

But what I know now is … that I am living my life quite comfortably, healthily, happily, easily … enjoying the time I have and doing what I like. I said it before and I will say it again … I am not amazed by how much people make … I am amazed by how little I need.

But then again people don’t have to live like me. In fact, many don't ... they live better than me. We all have our own ideas of how we want to live. There is nothing wrong living like a millionaire if you have the money. Many people worked very hard to become millionaires and it is entirely up to them how to spend their hard-earned money on whatever they think they deserved. It is their way to tell and show people that they have achieved success. It is their way of rewarding themselves for what they have achieved. They can do what they like with their money and like what they do with their money. I think we can all agree to this.

Yes, go ahead … be a millionaire and live like one. Work harder and if you still want more … work longer. But the thing is … in the process, don’t get caught in never-ending chase. One must know where to draw the line.

Don’t lose track of time … sometimes people are too engrossed in the search for success that they let time and things pass, knowingly and unknowingly. Yes, it is always like this … many people only find out when it is too late to look for things they have missed.

Don’t get addicted and develop the insatiable greed for more and more. Don’t push contentment too far away … one must know when to stop and start to live and enjoy life with what you already have.

And last but not least … don’t complain life is too fucking short. Life is not short … maybe you just took too fucking long to start enjoying it.

At my home

In a conversation with a friend who was visiting me for afternoon tea, we chatted on various things … from politics to parenting to old age. During conversation an interesting subject popped up … a topic on home … I mean a home that a family lives in.

It was about what it takes to make a good home … we are talking the about a home, not a house ya … I am sure we all know the difference.

Before I go further … let me first make clear the topic of the discussion. 

What is a home?

Is it a house? Well … yes but not necessary. I searched the internet for meaning of home … an online dictionary defines a home as … a place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household. OK, different dictionaries have different definitions but most say it is a place.

Yes, a place … it could be a cave, a cavern, a lodge or a hideout shelter. It does not necessary have to be a house or an apartment. For some people, it could be a pub or a bar … they called it their second home.

I read something that says a home is a place that one would like to go back to again and again after you have done with the day. So, for most of us, very likely it will be our house.

And in the discussion with my friend … we were talking about a home that is conducive for all and the talking point of discussion was … “a place to go back to again and again” and the question I want to ask is … what is there in your home that makes you want to go back to again and again?

Well, different families may have different ideas for their homes. I have been to many homes … a few elaborately decorated, some are very nicely organized, other are simple but pleasingly furnished. But it is not how the house is decorated or how it is designed even though it does add to the comfort and convenience for the family.

More importantly, it is the atmosphere, the camaraderie, the bonding, the respect, the responsibility, the commitment and the obligations of all the people living in it … all of those are important to make the home a place that you want to go back to again and again. The things, the doings and the interests in a home should not only be favorable or bias towards certain people of the family … it must compliment everyone living in it.

I have been to someone’s home lately … in the family, the wife is a devout Buddhist. To satisfy the needs of the wife’s belief … the place is decorated with many of the religion’s memorabilia and recorded mantra is constantly playing over and over from day till night. Only vegetarian is allowed and I was told that even killing of mosquitoes is not encouraged. And one more thing, wifi is not allowed. Well, this has nothing to do with the religion … it is just that the devout wife believes that wifi can cause cancer.

Let me say this clearly … I am not against religion but just because one person is a devout Buddhist … the whole family have to live restricted to the religion. The young kids who don’t understand and don’t know how to appreciate the Buddhist chants have to listen to the recorded mantra all day long. The rest of the family who are not vegetarians can only eat meat at restaurants. Irritating mosquitoes fly and breed freely everywhere.

And wifi can cause cancer??? I don’t want to go into that … it will be another three paragraphs if I do.

So, is this home a favorable place to live in? Yes, it might be but to only one person. For the rest of the family … they have to tolerate the restriction. Really, I think it is not a place that they would like to go back to again and again. Then again, I might be wrong … maybe they like to live with the restriction and they will go back again and again.

Let me tell you this … I am a diehard fan of aliens … I believe in super intelligent beings from outer space. So much so that I am convinced that I am an alien. I accept the idea that my ancestors came to this planet from another universe thousands of years ago. YES, I really believe that. 

Now, just because I believe in aliens, I cannot make my place (which I shared with my wife and kids) like a spaceship, put alien memorabilia everywhere and play music from “the encounter of the third kind” all day and night. It is only me who think I am an alien … my wife and kids think that it is a ridiculous idea. Make my place like a spaceship? Don’t even mention it in front of my wife … my ass will be kicked out into space at the speed of light.

I am not sure about other people’s home but at my home … be it responsibilities and obligations, duties and chores, obsessions and beliefs, discussions and arguments, art and deco, rules and regulations, whims and fancies, dos and don’ts, needs and nots or other conditions and matters … we must be able to know what to appreciate, who to respect, what to avoid and why it is not allowed so that we can make the setting fair, reasonable and compatible for everyone in order to keep the place and the people bonded in good spirits.

So, what is it like at my home? 

At my home … is where everyone has their freedom, privacy and practices within common expectation. It is where my kids are free to lock their bedroom doors, play their songs and do not have to worry about what is on their phones and computers. It is where my wife and I have our own man cave and she shed where we do our own things and enjoy some private space and down time.

At my home … is where my wife can be assured that she is needed and appreciated for keeping the things running like clockwork. It is where she is pampered for what she had contributed attentively to keep the family neat, tidy and fed.

At my home … is where I can look forward to enjoy a simple home cooked meal at the end of the day. It is where I felt most at ease resting, idling or watching my favorite TV series oblivious to the kid’s perpetual arguing, dogs barking and my two cats playfully scrambling all over the place.

And at my home … is where I feel close to my loved ones and find companionship in them. It is where I am never lonely even when I am alone. It is where I want to be and it is where I will go back to again and again.