The prayers did not work … neither was I blessed

NOTE : PLEASE READ WITH AN OPEN MIND

Well, the above suggestion means that the following writings may or may not cause some uneasiness for some people … so I hope one can read with an open mind.

Here it goes.

Recently a friend came over to visit me after more than two months of lockdown … it is good to be able to move about and do some visiting albeit the strict cautious and distancing procedures. 

Being a very religious person, the first thing my friend said when we met was … “thank god, the covid19 situation is getting better”.

But for me ... thinking more from a scientific front, I said … “not really ... thanks to the doctors, nurses, medical assistants, labs technicians, police, army, hospital cleaners, helpers, delivery boys … all those so called “front liners”. Thanks to them, they are the ones who are making sure that the situation is getting better”.

Then my religious friend added … “thanks to god and our prayers also lah”.

I replied … “of course” … we both laughed and continued our chatters over teh tarik at the local mamak shop. You see, we can get along well, not based on what we believe … more importantly it is about how we behave.

Many know that I am not into gods, deities, ghosts, ghouls, devils, demons, fairies, angels or spirits  ... I don’t believe there is a heaven or a hell, neither do I believe there are divine beings controlling everything in the universe.

I tell you why.

You see … I was a sickly child when I was born … a thin, skinny and sickly boy with a “breathing problem”. Actually it was asthma but in the village I was growing up then, it was believe to be something else. I was told that my grandmother even fed me opium believing it can stop the breathing problem … hmmmm, I got “high” a lot earlier than my peers.

Everyone in the village knows me … because my mom would go around seeking folk remedies and cures to try to get me better.

Apart from opium, which I am sure I was given because it is true that my grandmother was an opium smoker … let me tell you the other stuffs that I tasted ... errrr, no ..."tested" will be a more appropriate word. It still scares me to even think of it now. There were cockroaches roasted over wood fire, little baby mice dipped into alcohol and swallowed whole, grounded dried black bees prescribed by the Chinese medical shops, crocodile meat, monitor lizard meat, some kind of dried lizard and a whole bunch of herbs and strange plants. I was “tested” with very strange stuffs.

And if those were not enough, my mom also resorted to getting divine help … she would pray at temples and seek advice from mediums. There were suggestions that I was disturbed by “dirty” things (ghosts, ghouls and demons) and believing in strange Taoist practice, my mom “gave” me to a few gods and deities as a godson, so that I would be blessed by them and they will scare the “dirty” things away. From what I could remember … I was “kai” (given as godson) to God Erlang, Goddess of Mercy, Monkey God, General Guan Yu (Kuan Kung), Nine Emperors God and a few more, I am quite sure.

Anyway, after all that my mom had tried and done, I did not get any better … the prayers did not work … neither was I blessed.

I can understand what my mother did and why … she grew up in a rubber estate in Beranang and only went to primary school for a few years. She did what she thought was best for me, trying everything to get me better because she loved me dearly.

I was still a very sickly boy until I was 10 years old. Then a colleague of my father told my mom to take me to a government clinic … it was a free clinic for employees of LLN (now called TNB) located at Bangsar. That changed everything … I was given proper medications for my asthma and slowly I got better.

I remember … every time when the asthma strikes, my dad would borrow the neighbor’s Morris Minor … took me straight to Bangsar Clinic (how we called it then) and all it took was an injection and I could breathe comfortably again. Yes, it was a miracle … a miracle of science.

When I attended secondary school, I was asthma free and was a very active sporting student … it was science that stopped the asthmatic attacks. It was proper medicine and proven methods that made me better. Since then … I stopped believing in gods, deities, ghosts, ghouls, devils, demons, superstitions and definitely not opium.

For my mom … she still believe that the gods must have something to do with my progress and so the praying continues, not for my health but for my studies. Hoping that I will be successful in my studies … she went to seek divine help from Indian temples.

Sadly, I did not get through the O-Level exams … got an overall Grade II only. And my mom was wondering what she missed … why her prayers did not work and I was not blessed with good exam results.

NO, it has nothing to do with her … it was very clear that I only have myself to blame … I am the one who screw it all up.

But my mom told me that I still have to “pay back” for what she asked from the temples and I actually went to carry milk up the 272 steps of Batu Caves during the Thaipusam festival the following year. I did it not because I believe in divine intervention … I did it because I know how happy it will make my mom feel, believing that she has done whatever she can for her son.

As I grew into a young adult … I learned of more facts, evidences, proofs, realities, discoveries and findings of science. My fondness of reading got me into books and publications of modern and progressing topics.

By then, I was totally out of religion.

Don’t get me wrong ya … yes, I am not religious but I am NOT anti-religion. It is just that religion does not work for me. It works wonders for many people … like my friend who believe that his prayers worked, the covid19 situation is getting better and the world is blessed by what he believed.

As for me … like when I was young, I don’t think that my mom’s prayers worked … neither was I blessed by what she believed. I know very well that my “breathing problem” was treated successfully by science, my bad academics was my own doing and now I believe that only science can find a solution to end the current pandemic situation.

I drive a lousy car

I was washing my car in front of my house when my good neighbor walked by … we had a casual chat and just before he walks off, he cheekily said … “Aiyo Shiek, no need to wash so nice lah … this is a lousy car … buy a new car, better for you”.

Of course he was joking saying it is a lousy car … he meant that I deserve a better car.

Actually, he is right … not about I deserve a better car … he is right saying that I drive a lousy car. I am driving a 26 years old Proton Wira … bought it for RM2500 and has been driving it for a couple of years now … and will be driving it for as long as it is willing to move.

My lousy car

It is not as good as I want it to be … it has seen better days and even though it does not look and behave too well with cold morning tempers, rusted corners and weathered paint … so far, it has served its purpose well.

Now, the question is … do I need a new car and will it be better for me ? In other words ... will it make me feel better ?

NO … I don’t need a new car. Why? With my limited resources, both time and money … I am only focusing on things that can REALLY make me feel better and a new car is DEFINITELY NOT one of them. That’s right … a new car is not going to make me feel any better.

So what are the things that will make me feel better ?

First, my children … more precisely, their development … that is where I willingly and adequately provide for. Education, recreational activities, sports, books, courses, seminars, computers and smart devices that enable them to develop themselves and grow into a responsible young adult ready to face a world of their own. Knowing that I am able to do that … that makes me feel better.

Second, my spouse … my closest partner in life. She has my companionship … I will be nearby most of the time. Not that she depends on me or I depend on her … just that we like to do things together. She has my attention … that what she likes and it makes her feel better … when she feels better, I feel better too. We dedicate a lot of time and commitment for each other and for the family that we share. Knowing that we are going to spend a lot of time together for the rest of our lives … that makes me feel better.

Third, my home … not my house, I don’t need a bigger or better house. The house that I am staying in for the last 26 years is good enough for me … a bigger house will not make me feel any better. 

What is important to me is my home … that is where I focus on. It is where the bonding is strong, where everyone is close enough but still have the privacy they needed, where tears and joys are common and cherished, where love is aplenty amidst occasional spats, squabbles and disagreements. Knowing that I have a warm place where I want to go back to, again and again ... that makes me feel better. 

Fourth, a bunch of good old uncles … my good friends … really good ones … meaning those who can accept me for what I am and vice versa. Those who know my strengths and enjoy my merits but also acknowledge my weaknesses and tolerate my shortcomings. They have stuck with me for several decades and we will remain close for the many more years to come.

Together we put a lot of effort to keep this bunch of old uncles together … organizing holiday trips, boys’ night out for drinks and families getting together. We make sure that we maintain the strong bonding that we created over the years. Knowing that I have a bunch of good old friends … that makes me feel better. 

Last but not least is my health … yes, one of the most important things that make me feel better is my health. I have said it many times that I am doing a lot to take care of myself … maintaining a healthy lifestyle, staying active, always busy and keep learning new things. I take good care of myself, not that I love myself … it is because I love my spouse and children. Knowing that I can take care of myself so that my loved ones do not have to worry about taking care of me … that makes me feel better.

So … as you can see, I don’t need a new car to make me feel better.

Others may include cars, houses, jewelries, brands and luxury as their “feel better” indicators … there is nothing wrong with that ya … that is their idea of how to make them feel better and to enjoy their hard earned success. 

For me, I have different indicators … so yes, I drive a lousy car but at this point of life, how lousy my car is … is not important to me. The important thing is … I don’t feel lousy … I am happy, I am well, I am healthy and I feel absolutely great !!!

 

DUDUK DIAM DIAM !!! YOU DON’T MOVE, THE VIRUS DON’T MOVE

Our country is being held at almost a full stop by the corona virus or officially known as the Covid19 virus. Not just here … more than two hundred countries around the globe are also facing very bad situations with almost quarter of a million people infected and thousands of lives already lost.

Health and medical experts around the world are working tirelessly to fight this virus at this moment. While some are showing some results in trying to contain the spread of the virus but in many other countries, the spread is still on the rise.

Here in the country … at the time of writing, we have more than two thousand infected cases and the infection rate is not slowing down even though the National Security Council enforced a Movement Control Order (MCO) to stop the spread of the virus two weeks ago. Just yesterday, the authority locked down several high risk areas under the "enhanced" MCO directive. Despite the strict effort, there are still many who defy the order and these people are at a very high risk of catching the virus and spreading it further.

Now, to those who still do not understand the one key reason of the MCO … let me EDUCATE these foolish stubborn people.

You see … the virus by itself CANNOT MOVE from places to places. If it is not moving, it will die soon when exposed or be destroyed (if it is in an infected person) when treated successfully.

Listen ! The virus DON’T MOVE … it is people like you and me that moves it … carrying it around, transfer it to other people or places when we move about … hence causing the widespread. That is the ONLY way the virus can move and spread.

So, if we DON’T move, the virus CANNOT move. That will allow it to be controlled and contained properly. UNDERSTAND ???

The doctors, nurses, medical personnel and the likes involved in battling the virus at the back end are working endlessly and tirelessly trying to treat those infected. They already have a lot in hand to deal with.

So if we, the people at the open front can avoid being in contact with the virus or avoid being infected … that will help ease the tremendous load for those overworked people at the back end.

And the best way to avoid contact or to be infected by the virus is to STAY SAFE AT HOME, STAY PROTECTED and DON’T MOVE AROUND unnecessarily. In other words (in our national language) … “DUDUK DIAM DIAM … FAHAM ???”

Adhere to the MCO strictly … yes, we are at quite an inconvenient situation for now but this is all for the best of everyone … let’s hope that it will get better soon. Bear in mind, it is not just us in Malaysia … thousands around the world that are in the same situation … some even worse. Consider us lucky to still have some limited necessary movement.

Many people may asked … how can I help? Well, if you make sure you and your family stay safe at home, stay protected and adhere strictly to the MCO … you have helped tremendously.

And one more thing … stop criticizing. The authorities are trying their very best to handle the situation. We have never come across a pandemic situation like this … not just us, many other countries too. Yes, there may be some shortfalls here and there but it is not the time to pick faults and point finger at the various machineries involved in handling the situation. Let us all focus on just solving this one very dangerous situation. 

I am very selfish … I am just taking care of myself

Like many people of my generation … since the day I started working, I have been trying to take care of many things. At the beginning, helping my parents put food on the table and then making sure that they have a good roof over their head and later on, providing for them to live comfortably when they retired.

That spread over a few decades.

Somewhere along the way I got married … more things to take care of to start a family of my own. Working harder to make enough financially to buy a house and maintain a proper place where we called home.

Then the kids came … with added responsibilities and financial commitments, I have to spend more time trying to take care of more things … so that both my parents and my family are able to live reasonably well ... trying to balance everything the best I could.

The kids grew … faster than I can remember, and then came the time for schooling, extracurricular activities and other learning commitments. All that required more commitments, both time and money … thus, more things to take care of.

In the meantime my parents were getting old. Like many old folks as they lived into their late years, the perils of old age began to emerge.

More commitments … from getting maids (and a set of problems that normally comes with hiring maids) to hospital admissions to nursing homes … there were a lot of things to take care of for a while.

And let’s not forget that during this time, the kids grew into teens and that came with another long list of things that need to be taken care of. From simple things like driving license to important decision on deciding which college and university that is relevant for their higher educational needs … all need to be taken care of. 

All those years … it was all about taken care of things and trying to make things work so that those people that are close to me can have a meaningful living. Somewhere on the side of all those things, I was also trying to take care of things that were also happening around my very own self … career advancement, financials commitments, obligations, duties, requirements, security and assurances.

For a very large part of my life … I was very busy taking care of things around me and it never really occurred to me that I need to take care of myself … I mean really taking care of myself. You see, while worrying about my kids growing up and my parents growing old and all that in between … I forgot that I am also getting older. By the time I have almost done taking care of all those things … I am already in my 50s.

 

Now … I am very focused on taking care of myself. Yes, I can tell you most of the things I do now are very likely for taking care of myself … more importantly my well-being. For now, I am busy and staying active … quite independently doing many things for myself and by myself.

It is not that I do not take care of my wife and my kids, I do … but I can tell you very honestly, I spend more time taking care of myself. Yes, it sounds very selfish but I have a very good reason to do just that.

So what is it ?

Simple … so that my loved ones DON’T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT TAKING CARE OF ME !!!