What is living life to the fullest?

We all heard of the phrase “live life to the fullest” right? In fact some are already doing it right now … in the ways they think they are living their lives to the fullest.

The question is … what is living life to the fullest? Or how do you live life to the fullest?

Live life to the fullest?

The common understanding is … enjoy the very best that life can offer. Like own the best brands, visit the most exotic or most popular places, savour the best cuisines of the world and be part of the higher echelon in the social circle. Live with the best that money can buy.

Yes, that is a way of living life to the fullest but that needs a fortune … meaning one must achieve a huge financial success to do it.

Then the next question is … if those who are unable to have such financial success, does that mean they cannot live life to the fullest?

Now, my take is … living life to the fullest does not only mean getting the best that money can buy. The word “fullest” encapsulates many things … some may not need a lot of money to do and some are even free.

I think a person can live life to the fullest, FIRST, by simply being healthy and be able to enjoy an active life doing what he or she likes to do every day.

Living life to the fullest, in my context means keeping yourself active and busy … it does not mean that you have to do or acquire the best that money can buy … it just means do whatever that makes you happy. It can be as simple as reading a new book and that does not need a lot of money to do … it just needs you to have an active mind and interest in wanting to acquire and learn more.

Living life to the fullest does not mean that you have to taste the best cuisines in the world … it can be just learning to bake a simple delicious butter cake with the joy and sense of accomplishment watching people enjoy the fruits of what you have learned to make.

Living life to the fullest does not mean you have to travel to the most exotic places for holidays … really, not many can afford that. It can just be a few good friends hopping into a van on a daytrip to the countryside looking for durians, river fishes and other village produces. I think this is what many people are already doing … filling their lives full with simple adventures, camaraderie, fun and laughters.

Living life to the fullest does not mean that you have to wear the best brands and to be among the higher social echelons at premier events. Maybe others don't agree but for me, I am living my life to the fullest when I am stripped down to my underwear, splashing on the cool waters in waterfalls at some orang asli settlements somewhere in the middle of the jungle.

You want to live life to the fullest? Simple … just stay healthy, stay active and stay busy … do things that you REALLY like to do, not doing things that you think people like to see.

It can be just very simple things … whimsical at times or even foolish … it is OK, as long as it makes you happy and it fills up your life with joy and delights. It does not have to be the best or the exotics or the popular or the spectacular. Maybe it is not something for you to “show’ but you can always “share” the things that bring joy to your life.

Perhaps there are things that you may like to do but you hesitated because you cannot do it well … don’t worry, just do it if it makes you happy.

Let me say a few words I saw from an FB posting … “I can’t sing … it does not mean I won’t sing” … I absolutely agree with that !!!

So, live your life to the fullest … sing!

 

What's in your basket of happiness?

I have never been to Bhutan but I know it is a great country. I read a lot about this country … though it is considered an under developed country, it has its riches in many aspects. One of the many aspects that I admire about this country is its Gross National Happiness (GNH) or the way they measure the GNH index.

The term was coined by the 4^th King of Bhutan in 1972 and he declared that this GNH is more important than the GDP (Gross Domestic Product) of his country. This GNH concept is an approach to sustainable progress BUT it also gives EQUAL importance to NON-ECONOMIC aspects of wellbeing.

I agree totally with this concept … I can relate it to my own personal wellbeing.

Maybe we can also create a happiness index for ourselves … call it Gross Personal Happiness or GPH or maybe Gross Family Happiness or GFH to include the family as well … or any abbreviation you may come up with. The question is … how do you measure it? What are the things to put in the basket of measurement?

I am sure there are many ideas on how to measure your happiness.

The one very common thinking is … I am happy if I am rich. Yes, the fact is, many people believe that and there is nothing wrong ya … it is absolutely alright to live with that idea. So, their index for happiness is directly related to how much they have. The more they have … the happier they will be.

Others may focus more on the religious aspect ... they are very happy to be able to live the way their faiths have taught them. So their happiness is mainly related to their religions and beliefs.

Then there are the spiritual ones … how are they happy, when are they happy and how do they measure their happiness? Or maybe they even don’t believe in the idea of a happiness index. Again, that is up to them.

And what about those happy-go-lucky ones … I believe they are always happy. They are a bunch of carefree people with nothing to worry about. The way I see it … they don’t need anything to measure their happiness … they are just happy in whatever they do.

Like I said, different people have different ideas of measurement for their happiness … how do you measure yours?

For me, my idea or concept of measurement for my happiness is similar to the way Bhutan measure its GNH. That is … I give EQUAL importance to NON-ECONOMIC or NON- MATERIALISTIC aspects of my wellbeing.

Let me say this … money is just a small part in my happiness measurement basket. But having said that, let me emphasize its importance also … it is important to have money … don’t fool yourself that you can just live with air and water.

My opinion, strictly my own opinion is … that one’s happiness is not just measured by the financial progress or success. Look at the various non-materialistic aspects of your life … there are many things in those aspects that you may have neglected to put into your basket of measurement for happiness.

Many will agree that there must be a balance … what to balance and how to balance it? Yes, it is easier said than done. But if you put a bit of effort and work towards it … I am very sure you will be able to find a way to a good happiness index … maybe start by filling out what to put into your basket of happiness.

I am not trying to live longer

As of last month, I have retired 13 years already. Since I stopped working, I have been trying to stay active and with a lot of time in hand, I try to do quite a few things that I like.

People said to me … “wah, you so active physically and staying healthy … you will live longer”.

Now, let me make it clear ... I do things that can make me LIVE BETTER not make me live longer.

There is a saying in Chinese ... 活得好不要活得老 … translated it simply means “live better, not longer”. Not everyone can agree to this but for me, I can accept this idea.

You see … I picked up trekking years ago. I trek into the forest simply because I like to bask in the beautiful nature. I like the jungle atmosphere, the sound, the smell, the penetrating sunrays, the flora and fauna, the cool rushing rivers, the splashes of the waterfalls and sightings of beautiful animals and creatures in the forest.

To some, trekking is an exercise … yes, trekking does give me a good exercise but will it make me live longer?

NO … I don’t think so. I don’t feel that I am going to live longer when I trek. But I certainly feel that I am living better embracing the beautiful nature as much as possible.

I go the gymnasium … no, I am not trying to be like Schwarzenegger … I cannot be and I don’t want to be. At my age, the muscles and tendons tend to get lethargic easily. To keep the muscles and tendons from getting fatigue … need to grease and stretch them from time to time.

And I love food … hey, who can resist good food? Someone told me once that calories are meant to be burnt, not keep … so I go burn the calories. I don’t want to carry the extra weight on my loose joints and already rusty structure. The fatty layers have to go … some sweats and workouts at the gym will do just that.

Will that make me live longer? NO … highly unlikely. But I feel better when the old muscles and tendons can still work painlessly … I feel better with less weight hanging on my body structure ... hence, I live better.

I took up taichi lessons and it took me a year to learn the beginner’s “short form” of the Huang style taichi and maybe another year to complete the “long form”.

Now, will learning taichi make me live longer?

NO ... if people tell you that … don’t believe it. See, from the various taichi principles, I learned about proper lifting, standing, balancing, sitting, correcting my postures and how not to put unnecessary weights on the various joints. With this, I can avoid or minimize the damages on my aged structure … I live better with less pain and less discomfort.

Like I said … I try to do things that I like … some are physical, some are mental, some maybe emotional and sometimes even whimsical. Though I don’t do all them very well, I do it because I can and I like to … Jack of all trades, master of none, they said.

At this point of time, I just want to live actively and effectively with less pain, aches and discomforts. I want to live peacefully and safely with fewer risks, damages and injuries and I want to live happily and joyfully without hassles, stress and worries.

Really, I am not trying to live longer … I am just trying to live better.

 

At my best in my simplest form

Recently I added a tattoo in the form of a quote I wrote (quite some time ago) and used as tagline in my social media accounts and my blog. 

The quote … “i am at my best in my simplest form” … the words are all in lower case letters of a simple font. Well, it is all about simplicity … isn’t it?

I got a lot of people asking me about these words, the first being the tattoo master who asked … “Mr Shiek … what is the message here?”

Now, there are two parts to this quote … “at my best” and “in my simplest form”.

First, what exactly is “at my best”?

Let me explain … I am not talking about my skills or abilities. When I say I am “at my best” … it refers to the state, the situation, the setting or the condition that I am in.

Whether it is the company of people I am with, whether it is the environment that I am living in, whether it is the things that I do or whether it is the conditions that I want … I want to be most comfortable, most enjoyable, most peaceful, most relaxed and most happy. That is what I mean by “at my best”.

“At my best” is not reflected by how big a house I have … no, it is about the warm comfortable home I live in.

“At my best” does not mean that I have to be in the higher echelon of the social circle … no, I am most happy when I am with good friends at a mamak shop.

“At my best” does not mean that I have to travel to see the world’s most exotic places … no, it can be just me in the peaceful natural surroundings of the forest reserve.

“At my best” does not mean photos of expensive dining in fancy restaurants … no, it is the joy of a family getting together over simple meals cooked with 💓💖 … lots of 💕💗💖.

That is my idea of “at my best”

And what is “in my simplest form”?

When I say “in my simplest form” … it means JUST ME. Not my titles or recognitions (anyway, I don’t have any), not my qualifications, not my status and not the materials that I have because what is mine, IS NOT ME.

“In my simplest form” it means I own nothing and nothing owns me.

“In my simplest form” means I don’t have to walk as if I own the world … I walk as if I don’t care who owns the world.

“In my simplest” form means WYSIWYG … what you see is what you get.

So, when I say … “I am at my best in my simplest form” … it simply means I just want to be comfortable being who I really am … yes, it is that simple. 

 

Express or impress?

Many of us like to express ourselves … there are many ways to do it or you can also say there are many forms of expressions.

 A lot of people express themselves via writing or speech ... some use body language, others use photos or drawings and there are those who use music or art or painting. For example … Vincent Van Gogh expressed himself mainly with his paintings and Chopin wrote his stories exclusively on piano.

Like me, some people sing and use songs to tell their stories or their experiences.

Then there are others who express themselves silently … maybe they are just telling people they are minding their own business. Maybe they are those who don’t like to tell their stories.

Expressing is good … in whatever form. It is a very common communication process. With very large and far reach of the social media platforms and other communication tools … we all can now express ourselves conveniently by posting a photo or sharing a video or writing an article or sharing a link.

Even with a simple “👍”, you can express your thoughts or feeling on certain things. And with many different emoticons … one can choose to express the degree or level of their likes or dislikes.

But then there is a difference … many of us can identify that difference. What difference?

The difference between expressing and impressing.

There are those who like to impress with the postings or comments they made … we can all see whether a person is trying to share or that person is really trying to show.

I give you an example … many years ago a friend of mine successfully made it to one of the popular base camps in the Himalayas … she posted some pictures to share her experience and her joy of completing the challenge. 

Of course many of us posted comments on her photos … all the comments were congratulatory messages … except one. I can remember (though not every word) this particular message and it went something like this … “Hey, on your left, about 5 meters away there should be a big white boulder. Is it still there? I was at the same spot where you are standing two years ago”.

See what I mean?

Having said this … let me cover my backside a bit (or not I am sure to receive some very nasty emails and comments) … so, let me use my usual “cover backside” line … THERE IS NOTHING WRONG if people want to impress or want to show ya. Maybe that is their way of telling people that they have better stories to tell or maybe they have something better to show. That is absolutely OK.

Now, whether to express or to impress … it is entirely up to you. All I can say is … if you want to impress, you want to influence how people think of you. Well, it is a lot easier to express because you don’t have to worry about how people think of you.

 

Be yourself

 People say … “be yourself”… it is a very common phrase and I am sure you have heard it many times.

So what is “be yourself”?

There are many ideas on how to “be yourself" and we all have a different approaches. I am not sure about how others do it … as long as they are happy being “themselves” and not breaking the laws, I am happy for them.

For me, one very important aspect of “be yourself” is … be who you REALLY are.

What do I mean?

OK, whether you are a CEO or MD or FD or some big corporate shots … whether you are a Datuk Seri or Tan Sri or BOSS or whatever … that is NOT you!

So, DROP your crown, your titles, your recognitions and whatever … don’t let yourself be carried away. Be the father or mother … be the husband or wife … be the son or daughter … be the brother or sister or just be the friend ... be who you really are.

You may be a CEO but when the sink is leaking … no worries, out comes the toolbox and you are happy to get your hands dirty. Why? Because you are just being father or a husband.

Maybe you are a hot shot sexy lawyer … ran out of salt at home? No problem at all … hop into the car and head straight to the grocery store. Why you do it? Because you like being who you really are … a mother or a wife.

YES, it is that simple … just be yourself. 

If you like to dance, dance ... or if you want to sing, sing … you may not be good at it but you do it because you like it. People may even laugh at you ... even talk about you at your back. Well, you know what … those who talk about you at your back, that is where they will always be … at your back!

It is perfectly OK to be foolish every now and then … that is the fun part in life. What you do is NOT TO SHOW … it is more TO SHARE. It might be something small, something simple or something foolish even, but you do it because you are just being yourself.

You don’t have to SHOW people that you know every damn thing and walk like you own the world … you walk like you DON’T CARE who owns the world … that, is really being yourself. Be the real you … do what you like and say what you feel. Don’t worry about what others think … those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind.

But the sad fact is … many don’t realize that they are doing things while wearing a mask to SHOW what they think others like to see … masks that are made of titles, recognitions, status and standings.

The danger is … when they wear that mask too often and too long … one day when they remove that mask and look into the mirror … they will not be able to recognize who they really are.

 

Make the best out of it

Normally I would like to use the last posting (usually on the last day) of the year to recap on the good and worthwhile incidents that may have happened throughout the year but year 2020 was not really a good year. And we all know why.

Although generally it was not a good year as we are all affected by the Covid19 pandemic across the globe … nevertheless, most of us are thankful that we managed to stay safe and protected as well as striving through the economic hardship due to the loss of income caused by various movement control orders.

For this last writing of the year, I will not do a recap of 2020.

The world is still struggling with the Cov19 situation as we move into year 2021 and I think it will take quite a long while for things to get stable and safe in the new normal that the world have to live with. In some countries, things are getting better but in others, the situation is not improving … there are still a lot of uncertainties.

The big pharmaceutical companies have announced their vaccines for the Cov19 virus … trials were conducted and at the time of writing, various countries have already started their vaccination programs.

For us in Malaysia … I think we will still have to wait (for a long while) as we all know very well the way our authorities handle things here. My guess is … by the time the vaccine reach us, not only it will be a lot later than our neighbouring countries … it will be blardy EXPENSIVE! Let’s hope that I am wrong.

So as we move into 2021 … I don’t see a lot happening … at least not for the first six months. Looking at the daily infections that run into the thousands … it is highly likely that conditional movement control for Klang Valley folks will continue. Albeit this, I am sure the authorities will allow the various economic sectors to open and people allowed to travel within the country. This is good but strict SOPs must be adhered to.

For me, I am not planning much … the situation is uncertain. So it is more like “wait and see” for me. Let’s hope that we will get the vaccine soon and meanwhile the usual activities will continue and maybe a couple of trips within the country for breaks.

So, for year 2021 … with new normal and strict SOPs, will try to make the best out of it.

 

A bit more purpose and a bit more meaningful

 I am sure you heard people asked … you want time or you want money? Of course you want both!

Well, some lucky ones will have both but most of us would have to take one only. It will come to a point when one will have to make that decision … either to continue chasing to earn more money or you want to have all the time in the world.

When will that point of time come? That depends.

For me … that time or money point came quite early in my life and the decision was easy. I chose time over money because I know how much money I have but I DO NOT KNOW how much time I have.

Knowing how much money I have, it is easy to manage … it is just about budgeting and making sure that I spend prudently within my means. That’s it.

But for time … I don’t know how much time I have. I may even drop dead tomorrow. So, I have to put a lot more effort into how I want to spend my time. There are a millions things to do but I will never have enough time to do it all.

Whatever I do, I will try to do it with a bit more purpose and do it a bit more meaningful.

And what do I do with my time?

I write a bit … but I am not much of a writer. Actually, I spent more time editing than writing. I am just a storyteller trying to share my experiences, my thoughts and my simple aspirations. There is a saying … either you do something for people to write or you write something for people to do.

I have not done anything worthwhile for people to write about … so I am hoping that I can write and share something that people can appreciate and learn. It is a form of teaching and it is the main purpose of my writings.

I spend more time looking at things around me. I learned to slow down, stop to look at the surroundings and I find many beautiful things. Looking at the early dawn breaks, the young blooms in the forest, the lively sound of the wild, the dew drops on the leaves, the colorful leaves shed by the forest trees … now, I find it a bit more meaningful when I trek or hike in a forest.

 Not just in the forest … if you slow down and take the time to look at things around you … you can even find some unexpected beautiful things in your own backyard. Really, life is full of simple pleasures.    

There are many beautiful things around you ... life if full of simple pleasures

I search for forgotten taste when I cook … the sambal of the makcik who sold nasi lemak on the roadside near my primary school in Brickfields, the fish curry from the Indian aunty who live next to us in the LLN quarters in Bangsar, the English pound cake that my mother used to make and many many more. 

It brings back a lot of good memories and nostalgias … whether it is a family dinner or good friends gather over a meal talking about the good old days … the forgotten taste makes it a little bit more meaningful for everyone.

When the CMCO is over, I will do a bit of traveling … maybe I will go to places that are a bit more meaningful to me. What do I mean?

I tell you about a Mr Tony Wright … an Englishman I met many years ago. He came to Malaysia with a stack of photos that his grandparents took while they were in Malaysia in the 1920s and Tony travelled across Malaysia visiting places captured in the photographs, visiting the places that his grandparents visited and reminisce the stories they told him when he was small. That made his travel a little bit more meaningful … doesn’t it?

Look … you may have all the money in the world to spend but do you know whether you have the time to spend it all?  The sad fact is, you don’t know … there are so many things you want to do and surely you won’t be able to do all.

So, whatever you are doing … spend your time doing it with a bit more purpose and doing it a bit more meaningfully.