I am not trying to live longer

As of last month, I have retired 13 years already. Since I stopped working, I have been trying to stay active and with a lot of time in hand, I try to do quite a few things that I like.

People said to me … “wah, you so active physically and staying healthy … you will live longer”.

Now, let me make it clear ... I do things that can make me LIVE BETTER not make me live longer.

There is a saying in Chinese ... 活得好不要活得老 … translated it simply means “live better, not longer”. Not everyone can agree to this but for me, I can accept this idea.

You see … I picked up trekking years ago. I trek into the forest simply because I like to bask in the beautiful nature. I like the jungle atmosphere, the sound, the smell, the penetrating sunrays, the flora and fauna, the cool rushing rivers, the splashes of the waterfalls and sightings of beautiful animals and creatures in the forest.

To some, trekking is an exercise … yes, trekking does give me a good exercise but will it make me live longer?

NO … I don’t think so. I don’t feel that I am going to live longer when I trek. But I certainly feel that I am living better embracing the beautiful nature as much as possible.

I go the gymnasium … no, I am not trying to be like Schwarzenegger … I cannot be and I don’t want to be. At my age, the muscles and tendons tend to get lethargic easily. To keep the muscles and tendons from getting fatigue … need to grease and stretch them from time to time.

And I love food … hey, who can resist good food? Someone told me once that calories are meant to be burnt, not keep … so I go burn the calories. I don’t want to carry the extra weight on my loose joints and already rusty structure. The fatty layers have to go … some sweats and workouts at the gym will do just that.

Will that make me live longer? NO … highly unlikely. But I feel better when the old muscles and tendons can still work painlessly … I feel better with less weight hanging on my body structure ... hence, I live better.

I took up taichi lessons and it took me a year to learn the beginner’s “short form” of the Huang style taichi and maybe another year to complete the “long form”.

Now, will learning taichi make me live longer?

NO ... if people tell you that … don’t believe it. See, from the various taichi principles, I learned about proper lifting, standing, balancing, sitting, correcting my postures and how not to put unnecessary weights on the various joints. With this, I can avoid or minimize the damages on my aged structure … I live better with less pain and less discomfort.

Like I said … I try to do things that I like … some are physical, some are mental, some maybe emotional and sometimes even whimsical. Though I don’t do all them very well, I do it because I can and I like to … Jack of all trades, master of none, they said.

At this point of time, I just want to live actively and effectively with less pain, aches and discomforts. I want to live peacefully and safely with fewer risks, damages and injuries and I want to live happily and joyfully without hassles, stress and worries.

Really, I am not trying to live longer … I am just trying to live better.

 

At my best in my simplest form

Recently I added a tattoo in the form of a quote I wrote (quite some time ago) and used as tagline in my social media accounts and my blog. 

The quote … “i am at my best in my simplest form” … the words are all in lower case letters of a simple font. Well, it is all about simplicity … isn’t it?

I got a lot of people asking me about these words, the first being the tattoo master who asked … “Mr Shiek … what is the message here?”

Now, there are two parts to this quote … “at my best” and “in my simplest form”.

First, what exactly is “at my best”?

Let me explain … I am not talking about my skills or abilities. When I say I am “at my best” … it refers to the state, the situation, the setting or the condition that I am in.

Whether it is the company of people I am with, whether it is the environment that I am living in, whether it is the things that I do or whether it is the conditions that I want … I want to be most comfortable, most enjoyable, most peaceful, most relaxed and most happy. That is what I mean by “at my best”.

“At my best” is not reflected by how big a house I have … no, it is about the warm comfortable home I live in.

“At my best” does not mean that I have to be in the higher echelon of the social circle … no, I am most happy when I am with good friends at a mamak shop.

“At my best” does not mean that I have to travel to see the world’s most exotic places … no, it can be just me in the peaceful natural surroundings of the forest reserve.

“At my best” does not mean photos of expensive dining in fancy restaurants … no, it is the joy of a family getting together over simple meals cooked with 💓💖 … lots of 💕💗💖.

That is my idea of “at my best”

And what is “in my simplest form”?

When I say “in my simplest form” … it means JUST ME. Not my titles or recognitions (anyway, I don’t have any), not my qualifications, not my status and not the materials that I have because what is mine, IS NOT ME.

“In my simplest form” it means I own nothing and nothing owns me.

“In my simplest form” means I don’t have to walk as if I own the world … I walk as if I don’t care who owns the world.

“In my simplest” form means WYSIWYG … what you see is what you get.

So, when I say … “I am at my best in my simplest form” … it simply means I just want to be comfortable being who I really am … yes, it is that simple. 

 

Express or impress?

Many of us like to express ourselves … there are many ways to do it or you can also say there are many forms of expressions.

 A lot of people express themselves via writing or speech ... some use body language, others use photos or drawings and there are those who use music or art or painting. For example … Vincent Van Gogh expressed himself mainly with his paintings and Chopin wrote his stories exclusively on piano.

Like me, some people sing and use songs to tell their stories or their experiences.

Then there are others who express themselves silently … maybe they are just telling people they are minding their own business. Maybe they are those who don’t like to tell their stories.

Expressing is good … in whatever form. It is a very common communication process. With very large and far reach of the social media platforms and other communication tools … we all can now express ourselves conveniently by posting a photo or sharing a video or writing an article or sharing a link.

Even with a simple “👍”, you can express your thoughts or feeling on certain things. And with many different emoticons … one can choose to express the degree or level of their likes or dislikes.

But then there is a difference … many of us can identify that difference. What difference?

The difference between expressing and impressing.

There are those who like to impress with the postings or comments they made … we can all see whether a person is trying to share or that person is really trying to show.

I give you an example … many years ago a friend of mine successfully made it to one of the popular base camps in the Himalayas … she posted some pictures to share her experience and her joy of completing the challenge. 

Of course many of us posted comments on her photos … all the comments were congratulatory messages … except one. I can remember (though not every word) this particular message and it went something like this … “Hey, on your left, about 5 meters away there should be a big white boulder. Is it still there? I was at the same spot where you are standing two years ago”.

See what I mean?

Having said this … let me cover my backside a bit (or not I am sure to receive some very nasty emails and comments) … so, let me use my usual “cover backside” line … THERE IS NOTHING WRONG if people want to impress or want to show ya. Maybe that is their way of telling people that they have better stories to tell or maybe they have something better to show. That is absolutely OK.

Now, whether to express or to impress … it is entirely up to you. All I can say is … if you want to impress, you want to influence how people think of you. Well, it is a lot easier to express because you don’t have to worry about how people think of you.

 

Be yourself

 People say … “be yourself”… it is a very common phrase and I am sure you have heard it many times.

So what is “be yourself”?

There are many ideas on how to “be yourself" and we all have a different approaches. I am not sure about how others do it … as long as they are happy being “themselves” and not breaking the laws, I am happy for them.

For me, one very important aspect of “be yourself” is … be who you REALLY are.

What do I mean?

OK, whether you are a CEO or MD or FD or some big corporate shots … whether you are a Datuk Seri or Tan Sri or BOSS or whatever … that is NOT you!

So, DROP your crown, your titles, your recognitions and whatever … don’t let yourself be carried away. Be the father or mother … be the husband or wife … be the son or daughter … be the brother or sister or just be the friend ... be who you really are.

You may be a CEO but when the sink is leaking … no worries, out comes the toolbox and you are happy to get your hands dirty. Why? Because you are just being father or a husband.

Maybe you are a hot shot sexy lawyer … ran out of salt at home? No problem at all … hop into the car and head straight to the grocery store. Why you do it? Because you like being who you really are … a mother or a wife.

YES, it is that simple … just be yourself. 

If you like to dance, dance ... or if you want to sing, sing … you may not be good at it but you do it because you like it. People may even laugh at you ... even talk about you at your back. Well, you know what … those who talk about you at your back, that is where they will always be … at your back!

It is perfectly OK to be foolish every now and then … that is the fun part in life. What you do is NOT TO SHOW … it is more TO SHARE. It might be something small, something simple or something foolish even, but you do it because you are just being yourself.

You don’t have to SHOW people that you know every damn thing and walk like you own the world … you walk like you DON’T CARE who owns the world … that, is really being yourself. Be the real you … do what you like and say what you feel. Don’t worry about what others think … those who mind, don’t matter and those who matter, don’t mind.

But the sad fact is … many don’t realize that they are doing things while wearing a mask to SHOW what they think others like to see … masks that are made of titles, recognitions, status and standings.

The danger is … when they wear that mask too often and too long … one day when they remove that mask and look into the mirror … they will not be able to recognize who they really are.

 

Make the best out of it

Normally I would like to use the last posting (usually on the last day) of the year to recap on the good and worthwhile incidents that may have happened throughout the year but year 2020 was not really a good year. And we all know why.

Although generally it was not a good year as we are all affected by the Covid19 pandemic across the globe … nevertheless, most of us are thankful that we managed to stay safe and protected as well as striving through the economic hardship due to the loss of income caused by various movement control orders.

For this last writing of the year, I will not do a recap of 2020.

The world is still struggling with the Cov19 situation as we move into year 2021 and I think it will take quite a long while for things to get stable and safe in the new normal that the world have to live with. In some countries, things are getting better but in others, the situation is not improving … there are still a lot of uncertainties.

The big pharmaceutical companies have announced their vaccines for the Cov19 virus … trials were conducted and at the time of writing, various countries have already started their vaccination programs.

For us in Malaysia … I think we will still have to wait (for a long while) as we all know very well the way our authorities handle things here. My guess is … by the time the vaccine reach us, not only it will be a lot later than our neighbouring countries … it will be blardy EXPENSIVE! Let’s hope that I am wrong.

So as we move into 2021 … I don’t see a lot happening … at least not for the first six months. Looking at the daily infections that run into the thousands … it is highly likely that conditional movement control for Klang Valley folks will continue. Albeit this, I am sure the authorities will allow the various economic sectors to open and people allowed to travel within the country. This is good but strict SOPs must be adhered to.

For me, I am not planning much … the situation is uncertain. So it is more like “wait and see” for me. Let’s hope that we will get the vaccine soon and meanwhile the usual activities will continue and maybe a couple of trips within the country for breaks.

So, for year 2021 … with new normal and strict SOPs, will try to make the best out of it.

 

A bit more purpose and a bit more meaningful

 I am sure you heard people asked … you want time or you want money? Of course you want both!

Well, some lucky ones will have both but most of us would have to take one only. It will come to a point when one will have to make that decision … either to continue chasing to earn more money or you want to have all the time in the world.

When will that point of time come? That depends.

For me … that time or money point came quite early in my life and the decision was easy. I chose time over money because I know how much money I have but I DO NOT KNOW how much time I have.

Knowing how much money I have, it is easy to manage … it is just about budgeting and making sure that I spend prudently within my means. That’s it.

But for time … I don’t know how much time I have. I may even drop dead tomorrow. So, I have to put a lot more effort into how I want to spend my time. There are a millions things to do but I will never have enough time to do it all.

Whatever I do, I will try to do it with a bit more purpose and do it a bit more meaningful.

And what do I do with my time?

I write a bit … but I am not much of a writer. Actually, I spent more time editing than writing. I am just a storyteller trying to share my experiences, my thoughts and my simple aspirations. There is a saying … either you do something for people to write or you write something for people to do.

I have not done anything worthwhile for people to write about … so I am hoping that I can write and share something that people can appreciate and learn. It is a form of teaching and it is the main purpose of my writings.

I spend more time looking at things around me. I learned to slow down, stop to look at the surroundings and I find many beautiful things. Looking at the early dawn breaks, the young blooms in the forest, the lively sound of the wild, the dew drops on the leaves, the colorful leaves shed by the forest trees … now, I find it a bit more meaningful when I trek or hike in a forest.

 Not just in the forest … if you slow down and take the time to look at things around you … you can even find some unexpected beautiful things in your own backyard. Really, life is full of simple pleasures.    

There are many beautiful things around you ... life if full of simple pleasures

I search for forgotten taste when I cook … the sambal of the makcik who sold nasi lemak on the roadside near my primary school in Brickfields, the fish curry from the Indian aunty who live next to us in the LLN quarters in Bangsar, the English pound cake that my mother used to make and many many more. 

It brings back a lot of good memories and nostalgias … whether it is a family dinner or good friends gather over a meal talking about the good old days … the forgotten taste makes it a little bit more meaningful for everyone.

When the CMCO is over, I will do a bit of traveling … maybe I will go to places that are a bit more meaningful to me. What do I mean?

I tell you about a Mr Tony Wright … an Englishman I met many years ago. He came to Malaysia with a stack of photos that his grandparents took while they were in Malaysia in the 1920s and Tony travelled across Malaysia visiting places captured in the photographs, visiting the places that his grandparents visited and reminisce the stories they told him when he was small. That made his travel a little bit more meaningful … doesn’t it?

Look … you may have all the money in the world to spend but do you know whether you have the time to spend it all?  The sad fact is, you don’t know … there are so many things you want to do and surely you won’t be able to do all.

So, whatever you are doing … spend your time doing it with a bit more purpose and doing it a bit more meaningfully.

 

Don't live in your past

 As we grow older, we talk about our past more … especially those special moments where we may have done something good or proud … maybe completed a difficult physical challenge or participate in some meaningful events and other personal achievements.

Good … it is good to remember the good things that you have done and talked about them … maybe share it with the younger ones … pass on your experiences … it is a form of teaching.

But don’t boast … DON’T GLORIFY YOUR PAST. And don’t live your present life based on your past.

Some people like to brag about their past … they always bring up the so called “big” things that have done in almost every conversation they have. Yes, you may have done something “big” in your younger days … that is in your past. Let it be in your memories, something that you are proud of to talk about but don’t dwell on it or glorify it.

Why these people like to boast of their past so often? My opinion is … they have nothing to look forward to in the present … that is why they keep dwelling on their past achievements and like to glorify them … repeatedly. When you ask them what they are going to do today … they tell you what they have done yesterday.

Look, the past has no power over the present moment … so don’t dwell on it and make it as if it is driving your present.

Live your life based on what it is now and how it is now. Look at what that is around you now, what that is happening now, what is your current physical status and what are the options you have now … live in the present and try to make yourself better in this current situation.

When you are half a century into your life … like it or not, you are going to slow down. The sad fact is … you are not as fit and strong as you were 30 years ago … well, that is how nature works. Don’t ever believe in those anti-aging, age reversing products … as impressive as their creative advertising slogans may sound … they don’t work and they cannot work … you cannot grow any younger or stop growing old using those products … it is just simply against the law of nature.

So, you won’t be able to do the things that you have done many years ago … THAT IS ABSOLUTELY OK !!! No need to dwell on those past things that you have done … there are many things you can still do. Things based on your current abilities in the current situation.

What I am trying to say is … live your life in the present moment. Be aware of your current self and look at things that is around you now. If you are still talking about what you did yesterday, you haven’t done much today.

Of all the days you have in your life … there are only two days that nothing can be done … yesterday and tomorrow. So do the things on the day that they can be done … today. Soak in as much of today as you possibly can – the sights, the sounds, the smells, the emotions, the triumphs and even the sorrows.

There is a saying … “if you hold your past too tight to your chest, you can’t open your arms fully to embrace the present”.

 

THIS IS ME !

 After 58 years … really, I do not have anything to show that could reflect what I have achieved or failed to achieve in my life.

Nothing, except for a piece of machinery registered back in 1962 … I call it model Y62.MAR06.v58.

A simple machine that has been through all sorts of weather, abuses, repairs, overhauls, tests, stresses, anxieties, angers, fears and panics but has also had the same amount of bliss, happiness, love, joy, glee, peace, trust, loyalty, tranquility, calm, contentment and lots of simple pleasures.

As of the time of writing … albeit a few loose joints and worn parts of the overall frame … nothing needs to be replaced … at least not yet.

The RAM is still good … more than enough to run at the speed of things in this century. The hard disk still spinning … no slowing down after all these years and there is still plenty of storage and space but needs occasional house cleaning to keep the files and folders in proper order.

Recycle bin is emptied daily … no shit !

As it is an earlier make and model … it has a very simple operating system, it does not like complex stuffs. It inherited from its predecessors some cold tantrums, temperamental moods with a tendency to hang or shut itself down when things get a bit complicated.

An old school type it is but not old fashion … as it does update itself progressively with new apps, add-ons, extensions and plug-ins.

So far it has been running and performing well … with constant boot, reset, re-charge and occasional re-format plus a good firewall set up for security and threats… it is able to stay free from virus, worms and trojans.

Really, I have nothing to show … except for this very simple machinery. Yes, there are material things around me but those are NOT me. I cannot hold tight to all the material things that I have and say … “this is me”.

This piece of machinery is the only thing that I can use to tell people … “THIS IS ME”.

I am not sure how long it will last and how it will continue to perform in the coming years but I am very glad for now it behaves exactly like it should … like a 58 year-old … not a day younger and not a day older.