Of confidence, arrogance and stupidity

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Recently I met a guy I used to work with many years ago. I admired him because while struggling in the corporate world he was such a confident person full of enthusiasms. I worked with him for a while and I knew then he will go far. As I have expected, he is now a high level executive in an international company. I am glad to that he is successful now but on the other hand I am disappointed to see that he has turned into quite an arrogant person.

I really hate to see people who started well with confidence, believing in themselves and knowing that they are doing a good job but when they achieved success somehow they changed displaying arrogance. Too bad when someone has financial power, authority, status and influence, it is so easy to slip from confidence to arrogance. 

Maybe it is none of my business how people become when they are successful but let me talk a bit about confidence and arrogance. So what is confidence and what is arrogance?

I would say that those who are confident don’t need to tell others that they are confident. They just do what they are comfortable with and display their abilities without exaggerations.  On the other hand, those who are arrogant often compelled to show off and display an attitude telling everyone that they are the best. There is a fine line between confidence and arrogance and many people often mistakenly displayed their arrogance thinking that they are showing confidence.

Let me put it this way ...  if you walk as if you rule the world and everyone has to know what you have done, that is arrogance. Confidence is when you walk as if you don’t care who rules the world and it is totally okay if other people knows nothing about what you have accomplished. 

Yes confidence is good but then there are those who are too confident. Too much confidence blinds them from common sense and leads them straight to stupidity. Let me tell you a joke to illustrate my point.

There was a man who was so confident of his religion and his faith in God that he was sure God is with him always and will help him through difficult times. One day his village was flooded and all the villagers left but he refused to leave. When the flood got worse, a boat came and offered to take him to safety but he refused to go saying “Don’t worry, God will come and save me”. Later another boat came to save him but again he refused to go saying “I have faith in God and I know God will come to save me”. When the flood water rises further, he went to the roof of his house and waited. Then another boat came by and again offered to save him but he refused yet again saying “I am very confident that God will come and save me soon”.

Finally he drowned, went to heaven and disappointedly said to God “I prayed to you every day, I lived my life religiously and have done nothing wrong. I have so much faith and confidence in you and yet you did not come to save me during the flood. Then God said “I am very glad that you have shown such great confidence in me but I can’t help you if you are plain stupid. Look, I tried to save you. I sent three boats to you but you just refused to get on to the boats!”. 

Do you see my point? I am sure you do.

We all have different views of things that we do and how we live our lives. I can only say that if we know how to tread between the lines of arrogance, confidence and stupidity, we will be a much better person. 

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Trekking Bukit Kutu

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(Click here for more photos)

Bukit Kutu, nestled among the mountains in Kuala Kubu Bahru is an interesting place … although it is called a “bukit” (hill), its height at 3456 feet above sea level can actually classify it as a “gunung” (mountain). The local orang asli Temuans (indigenous people) used to call it Bukit Sekutu. According to sources from the internet, it was then renamed Treachers’s Hill by the British and made a station with a colonial bungalow built at the peak. While the nearby Fraser’s Hill flourished, this hill station somehow faded into oblivion and the colonial bungalow was abandoned. Later, new maps no longer show the name “Treacher’s Hill” but instead call it Bukit Kutu.

Many years ago this trail was quite notorious for trekkers as it was easy to get lost inside the jungle. It was also famous (as the name suggest) for the “kutu” meaning ticks (in Malay) and fleas as well as the abundance of blood sucking leeches found in the area. But now, the trail is marked out clearly by trekkers all the way to the peak and with good insect and leech repellent, this trail, though fairly tough, is an enjoyable trail for trekkers looking for a good place to trek.

How to get there? First, head straight to Kuala Kubu Bahru (KKB) and from KKB head towards Fraser’s Hill. From KKB to Fraser, the drive will take you alongside the KKB Water Dam. Driving along the road, keep a look out for a turning on the right side of the road into Kampung Pertak. This turning is just after a concrete bridge … sometimes there are people fishing along the side of this bridge. After turning into Kampung Pertak (it is a local Temuan kampung), you can see little “chalet” type kampung houses. Drive straight until you see a steel bridge. You can park your car in a small open space nearby. This is the first steel bridge and is where you start to trek.

Group photo before the climb ...from left, EM Shiek, GT Lim, CK Lim, ML Lim, CT Lim, Ms Yap, Steven Chin and Mr Hoh

On 16OCT2010, 8 of us in two cars headed for Bukit Kutu … we reached Kampung Pertak at about 8.30am. At the first steel bridge, we parked our car at a nearby open area. We crossed the bridge and started to trek into the forest on a muddy road. This road is used by vehicles going in and out of the nearby rubber estates and plantations. We walked along the mud road until we reached the second steel bridge. This second bridge has collapsed at the mid-section but still it can be used to cross the river.

We continued to trek for a short while when we came to the upper side of the river and here there is no bridge. The river is just about knee deep and one can walk across it but we did not want to take off our shoes so we walked on top of various rocks and small boulders to cross the river. After crossing the river, the trail leads into the jungle. There are some wild durians trees at the beginning of the trail. On our previous trip to this place, it was the end of the durian season and the trees were bearing their last batch of durians. Good for us, we found several tasty durians and had a good durian feast. This time, no durians … so headed straight into the jungle.

The upper side of the river .. no bridge here

Crossing a small stream heading into the jungle

From here, we crossed a couple of small streams and then the trail starts to lead up quite steeply. It was all the way up for quite a while and we saw plenty of bamboos along the way. In just about 2 hours (since we started) we managed to reach the “big rock”. This is a popular rest area for trekkers. This resting place is actually beside a very big boulder, almost 8 storeys high … it is HUGE! It casted out like a huge roof and provided a nice, cool and dry resting area for trekkers.

We rested for a while and then continue to hike up. We know we still have a third of the journey to trek to the peak. The trail from the big rock is a lot easier apart from the initial steep climb for a short distance and then it was a fairly easy trek all the way to the peak. Finally, we reached the open resting area at the peak. All in all it took us just about 3 hours to reach the peak. This is where the old colonial bungalow used to be … now only the tall chimney is left standing with several foundation structures and a couple of wells (or maybe some sort of bunkers).

The chimney ... remnants of the old colonial bungalow

 

An old staircase and one of the wells (or could it be a bunker?)

This is not really the highest point yet … the highest point of Bukit Kutu is just another short climb up to the top of a large boulder. We rested for a while at the open area and then went up to the very peak at 3456 feet above sea level. From here we could see the surrounding jungles and mountains of the nearby Fraser’s Hill area as well as the sleepy Kuala Kubu Bahru town.

For this hike, we brought along a young coconut tree and we planted it at the open area. Hopefully it will grow well to provide shade and bear fruits for thirsty trekkers in the future. We spent about 45 minutes at the peak and after a good rest and a quick lunch, we began our descent. The trek down was uneventful and quite fast as we did not really stop to rest. Our minds were fixed on getting out of the jungle and straight to the river at the first steel bridge for a cool refreshing dip. We made it to the river in 2 hours 30 minutes. The cool water was an appropriate reward for a long tiring trek. We took time to enjoy ourselves in the water and we also brought bread to feed the fresh water fishes which came in the hundreds to our delight.

Enjoying the cool water after a tiring trek

Very relaxing

 

Steven Chin enjoying the dip and Ms Yap freshening up

After washing up at the river we were all hungry again and it was time to pay a visit to the nearby Ulu Yam town for a good meal including a large bowl of the famous Ulu Yam “Lor Meen” before heading home. Though very tired, we were all happy to have accomplished another good trek and already looking forward to trek Bukit Kutu again soon.

Nobody says others must do good to you.

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Recently I watched a historical drama series about the people revolting against the cruel Emperor Shi Huang Di of the Qin Dynasty and how the two famous rebel leaders, Liu Bang and Xiang Yu overthrew the Qin Emperor. Then Liu Bang and Xiang Yu fought among themselves to control the vast empire. The two fought many battles and history told us that Liu Bang defeated Xiang Yu by employing brilliant men like Zhang Liang, Xiao He, Fan Kuai, Chen Ping and the outstanding General Han Xin. It was actually General Han Xin who finally crushed Xiang Yu in a decisive battle known in history as “The Battle of Gaixia”. After that, Liu Bang unified the China again and declared himself as Emperor Han GaoZu of the Han Dynasty.

And when peace descends upon China, Emperor Han Gaozu felt that he no longer needs those who fought together with him in the times of war. Many of his able generals were stripped of power, some banished on trumped up charges and others were jailed. And the famous General Han Xin was killed although not by the emperor himself (Han Xin was tricked, captured and executed by the scheming Empress Lu Zhi).

The gist of the story? As the saying goes “when the hares are all caught, the hunter boils his hounds”. Some people are good partners in struggling times but when the hard times are over, they turn otherwise protecting their own interest.

Let me tell you a similar story … several years ago, a good friend of mine was asked by one of our old schoolmates to help run the business of a new food court. The business was operating at a loss initially but with the expertise and wide experience, my good friend managed to pull through the hard times and finally established a stable profitable business almost single-handedly. Since then, the food court business has made huge profits for the owners.

Then recently the owners felt that they no longer need my good friend anymore as the business is now stable and running smoothly. So they plotted to replace him with their own family members. Very soon they succeeded by purposely putting him in difficult spots until he finally resigns.

If you are in the same boat as my good friend, would you feel angry? Of course you would. It is OK, get mad but then get over it. As angry as you can be but in situation like this or other similar circumstances, sometimes you just have to swallow your anger quietly and move on. You did good to others but nobody says others must do good to you.

So, at the end of the day, whatever happened to General Han Xin thousands of years ago or how my good friend being treated just recently or maybe in the future you may face the same situation … don’t bear any grudges. You can treat people well but don’t expect people to treat you well. Understand this and you will be a better person.
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You could be the other bastard ...

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The famous American General George S. Patton (during WWII) told his men “The object of war is not to die for your country but to make the other bastard die for his” … very wise words indeed. YES, loyalty demand great respect but General Patton exploited other people’s loyalty … let the other bastard for his country. You don’t win the war by dying (of loyalty or otherwise).

Today, in big organisations or small companies, there are people who demonstrate the same loyalty for their companies. Maybe you are one of these good employees who walked the extra mile. You are a die-hard loyal soldier … when asked to jump, you simply asked “how high” … you don’t even ask what you are jumping for and why. You put the company first, often go all the way making personal sacrifice for the company. And for that, you may just end up being one of the many pieces on the chess board … being positioned, played, exploited and made to “die for the company” for the benefit of others. On the surface, it is business as usual but underneath the carpet are smiling backstabbing opportunists scheming for an easy climb up the corporate ladder. And the end of the day, the shrewd, cunning, conniving and scheming ones are the winners.

OK, maybe it is not all that bad and gloomy. There are still good people around but just too few of those “old school” types who still hold loyalty, honesty and trust close to their chests. I am a strong believer of loyalty, honesty and trust but unfortunately these good values are often exploited by many. In underhand company politics, loyalty is a weakness, honesty is a flaw and trust is a big mistake.

Do you think people really care about your loyalty, what you have contributed, how hard you have worked or how much you have personally sacrificed? The instant you are out of the picture, people will only talk about your imperfection. Someone told me once that when you cry, no one sees your tears … when you are in pain, no one sees you are hurt …when you are worried, no one sees your stress … and when you are happy, no one sees your smile ... but when you FART just one time, everybody talks about it. How true!

So, are you a die-hard loyal, honest and trusting employee? If so, you should mull over General Patton’s words … you could be the other bastard made to die for his country … or in this case, die for the company.
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What I believe

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Last year when I wrote “Do you believe in ghost?”, someone asked me “Do you believe in God?”. That time, I did not response as I thought it was a bit sensitive to talk about the subject. Lately when I wrote “Gwai Cheet”, again someone asked me if I believe there is God. So let me tell you what I believe.

Do I believe in God? Not really … why? I feel there is something and I sense there is something (a force maybe) but I have not seen it. Whatever I have not seen I don’t really want to believe it exist. So, I don’t have a name for it. I don’t even know how it looks like … maybe one day if and when I see it, I will tell what it is called … that is, if I am still kicking. What others believe in, I have nothing to say about it. To them, God is the name … some others may have different names depending on what their beliefs are.

You can say I am not a religious person. On a few occasions when I tell people I don’t have any religion, they immediately see a red mean evil creature with a tail and two horns sticking out of my head, holding a long nasty trident standing in front of them. Look I don’t have a religion but please don’t look at me like I am a devil. Actually an evil person looks exactly like any other person around us … didn’t you read about people being murdered, burnt and dumped into rivers recently. The people who did this, they are the evil ones … do they look like devils to you?

When I say I don’t have a religion, it doesn’t mean I am anti-religion … as a matter of fact, I learn from all religions. I believe the teachings from all religions are good and I apply any teaching that I believe is good for me ... doesn’t matter which religion it is from.

I don’t believe in fate … to me, fate is for people who don’t want to make decision … so, they leave it to fate .. as they always say "It's fated".  Put it this way, I believe in what I decide and whatever I do will set the course of my life. Whether it is good or bad … I am responsible for my life not fate.

Once someone told me that I will go to hell … he said that if I don’t believe in fate and don’t belong to any religion, I have no heaven to go to, so hell is the only place. No worries and I am not losing sleep over it. I don’t know where the hell is hell but if the decisions I make and what I do is going to take me to hell, then let it be. Hey, when people say “It’s a hell of a place” … that sounds pretty exciting to me. I am looking forward to it already.

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I am not amazed by how much people make …

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How much can one person make? Millions, billions … trillions maybe … the sky is the limit. I read a lot about the rich and famous and I personally know quite a few. I salute them … they are all very capable people.

You know what? I am not amazed by how much people make … but I am surprised how little I really need. Having said that, it doesn’t mean everyone is like me. How much one needs is not for me to decide. Some are happy with the basics, some are contended with a little comfort while others must have luxury. I am only expressing my views and you don’t have to agree with me.

Look, I am not saying you should go hide in jungle and live like Tarzan. YES, be realistic … every family, big or small, needs money … for healthcare, for children’s education, for security and maybe other emergencies. My point is, when you think you have enough already, maybe you don’t need to keep chasing … maybe like me, you too will be surprised how little you really need.

I seek simple things in life now and they don’t really cost a lot. I don’t spend on expensive clothes, I don’t drive an expensive car and I don’t really go to expensive places. I can’t afford expensive stuffs to show off to people so that I “look good” ... I don’t need to anyway. Someone said this to me not so long ago “Shiek, you look old already, your hair is turning grey … you look so haggard lah". I don’t deny it at all … hey, I AM getting older and grey hair comes with age naturally. Some people don’t even get to live to see their grey hair. I am ok with whatever that is comfortable on me.

Really, how people see me from the outside is really not that important … whatever I do now is not to “look good” from the outside. What is important to me is how I feel inside. I feel healthy, I feel good, I feel happy … I feel GREAT! And to do that … I am surprised how little I really need.
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"Gwai Cheet"

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It is that time of the year again … the 7th lunar month of the Chinese calendar and just around the corner is what the Chinese called “gwai cheet” meaning ghost festival in Cantonese. And according to popular believe, during this period, the hell gates opened and all the “gwais” (ghosts & ghouls) will be out roaming everywhere. It is party time for those unearthly beings on the 14th day of the 7th lunar month.

Those who believe that the unearthly beings do exist will avoid going out and try not to stay out late if they have to leave their homes, worried that they might bump into “lar char yeh” (dirty "things”) during this period. As if these people are not already scared enough, various TV channels will be showing horror “gwai” movies to frighten them at home. Radio channels will also be telling all sorts of ghost stories. And as usual, people will add more scary tales to hype it up.

Here is one I heard just last week … a couple of my trekking buddies were trekking a popular hill in Klang Valley (I am not going to specify which hill, you can guess all you want ok?). And as they were about to cross a bridge they saw a lone woman near the bridge. She did not look spooky at all, just normal looking. She asked one of my friends … “hor em hor yee tai ngor kor kiu” (can you bring me across the bridge). At first it did not strike my friend that there is anything odd. But when they crossed the bridge, the woman, who was following behind then said “em koi sai, lei they ng sai tang ngor lah” (thank you, you guys don’t have to wait for me). It was at this precise moment it dawn upon my friend that she seems to talk in slow motion. Then it struck his mind that it is the 7th lunar month period and may be, just maybe there is something spooky. That thought sent him a chilling feeling. He dare not look back, just waved and immediately increased his speed trekking out of the forest. It was only after coming out of the forest he felt relieved. Anyway, I don’t think it is anything spooky but just because it is the 7th Chinese lunar month, our minds sometimes pulled a fast one on us.

I won’t purposely avoid anything during this period. Whether these “gwais” really exist or not, I am not going to argue about it. I believe in the saying “ping yat putt cho kuai sum see, sam karng how moon yar put keng” … loosely translated, it means if you did not harm anyone, you don’t have to worried about your doors being knocked at midnight.

Talking about the “gwai” word, I find it a bit inconsiderate that generally the Chinese in Malaysia (not sure about elsewhere) call themselves as “torng yan” in Cantonese … “torng” meaning Chinese and “yan” meaning human or people. But when calling other races, for some unknown selfish reasons, the other races are inconsiderately tagged with “gwai” instead. I am sure most Chinese will know what I am talking about. I strongly feel that this is inappropriate and those who are consciously or unconsciously doing it should stop ... we are all “yan”.
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Of porcupines, bezoar stones and a tarred lung

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The last time I met my ex-colleague, he asked me “Hey Shiek, you trekked a lot of jungles right?” I said “Yes, why?” He then asked “Have you come across porcupines?” I thought why a sudden interest in porcupines, so I asked him “Why? Can eat arr? “No lah” he said. “But some porcupines have some sort of stones in them … they are called the bezoar stones” he added. “Huh? “What stone?” I asked curiously. He then showed me a brochure which contains pictures of a type of stone that supposedly have great medicinal value. It is called “hao zhu zhao” (mandarin) or bezoar stone in English. It was the first time I heard about the bezoar stone.

He then told me that many “lou sais” (big bosses) and “yau cheen lous” (rich people) are now paying thousands of dollars to buy these stones. Some Chinese medicine shops are selling it at RM1000 for just half a gram. Wow, must be some sort of wonder stone. Later I found out that bezoar is a mass of food, usually from consuming grass and herbs, found trapped in an animal’s stomach system and is historically used in Chinese traditional medicine.

It is believed by some that the porcupine bezoar stone can be used to cure cancer, diabetes, dengue, typhoid, epilepsy, hepatitis and many more. Really? Then why the hell all those scientists are still searching everywhere for a cancer cure … hey, search no further, we have plenty of porcupines in Malaysia! Porcupine bezoar stone can cure deadly diseases? Naaaah! I tell you what … I am not convinced at all until it is scientifically proven. Whether it really has fantastic healing abilities or it is just a simple gall stone, it is up to you to believe. If it really works for you … great, I wish you a speedy recovery.

The irony is that many rich bosses are paying thousands of dollars for the stones hoping that they will cure them of their various health problems. Why the irony? First, these rich “lou sais” spend thousands on their excessively lifestyles. Believe me, I have seen so many of them wasting away their perfect health due to their over indulging habits. And when their well being began to deteriorate attracting a host of health problems, they then spend thousands on strange stuffs like the porcupine bezoar stone hoping to find some sort of miracle to solve their problems. Actually they are hoping for an easy way to buy back their health with money.

Hey, it is none of my business what people do with their money and their well being right? Look, I am also talking about myself. Many years ago I too wasted away my health. Not that I am a "yau cheen lou" but I over indulged in a poor man’s luxury … cigarettes! I smoked away one of my lungs. Those days I was doing three large packs of cigarettes a day and over the years, my lungs were smoked hard and brittle. One fine day out of the blue, one of my lungs decided to collapse and I ended up in the ER. Looking at the x-ray the doctor said “Tak nampak apa apa lah” (can’t see anything) and I said “Macam tu baik lah” (like that it is ok then, thinking that there is nothing wrong). Then he said “Tak nampak sebab semua sudah hitam lah” (cannot see anything because the lung was all black … probably full of tar).

An immediate thoracic surgery was arranged to fix the tarred lung that was punctured in five places. I was wheeled into the operation theatre on a cold stainless steel trolley (just like dead bodies being pushed in some CSI episodes). And just before they put the mask on me, I saw the “tunnel with a light at the end” and before I have time to figure out whether it is really a light at the end or a bloody on-coming train … everything went black.

I woke up with tubes all over me. Terribly in pain but was glad my good thoracic surgeon pulled me out of the tunnel. I realised I was in ICU, hooked up on a machine that was making an irritating “teet, teet, teet” sound. Though irritating but I know this sound means everything is OK … was really worried that it may just go “teeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet” (then you won’t be reading this). While recovering in the hospital, my doctor took me to see a small girl and said to me “Shiek, this girl was born with a defective lung … she have no choice but to suffer but you were born with perfect lungs and yet you chose to smoked it away”.

I smoked away one of my lungs and now I do not have 100% capacity of it. I have to live with that for the rest of my life. I will not be able to do a lot of things that a person with a healthy lung can do. No matter how much I exercise or how many mountains I trek, I cannot bring back my health. Nor can I spend thousands to buy some miracle stones to cure it. I regretted it deeply.
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